Brains Apparently Supply Insufficient Hydration - As I'm sure you're aware, Joe Paterno was hospitalized yesterday for dehydration. The 81 year old coach was treated and released. Joe, you're a zombie, hydrate like one.

Several Big Ten Coaches are Pansies, Want Time with Family - In what is being billed as an effort to restore some sanity to the college recruiting game, or at least to the Gentlemanly Big Ten coaching guild, Big Ten coaches discussed, but didn't vote on, a proposed two week quiet period for recruiting.

The proposal requires each school to set aside two weeks during the summer as a dead period, which prohibits in-person contact with recruits either on or off campus. The period would afford coaches, particularly assistants, a respite before training camp and the season.

Former Wisconsin head coach Barry Alvarez and soon to be former Purdue head coach Wilford Brimley Joe Tiller have heartily endorsed the proposed rule change. Ron Zook was reached for comment on the two week recruiting ban via cell phone.

Beilein Has Never Seen Die Hard - Despite the ominous warnings in the Die Hard movie series that all tall, skinny Germans are evil, John Beilein is scouting the hell out of 6'10" 123 pound wing, Frankfurter Rundschau Robin Benzing, of Germany.

Frankfurter Rundschau immediately becomes the second greatest name in Michigan recruiting history behind Shadovorick Beaver, and this combination of names will quickly enter the double entendre hall of fame. I hope to God he commits, the "Have you seen my Frankfurter?" T-shirt will put my kids through college.

He must commit. He must room with Beaver. They must become best friends. Please, comedy gods, make this happen.

Beware the comedy gods, and speed reading, they will turn on you. Apparently my dream of a basketball player named Frankfurter Rundschau has been crushed, as that is actually the name of a newspaper, not a 19 year-old German, uber-wing. Many thanks to an astute reader who pointed out my idiocy and haste in putting up the above (lack of) information.

The kid's name is Robin Benzing. Brave Sir Robin Benzing. He will either pick Michigan or San Diego, further proving that American television and sport really aren't followed that closely by Europeans. A site called Draft Express has a posting on Benzing from the World Under 18 Championships. There are some troubling thoughts contained therein...

[Benzing]struggles finishing his slashing attempts, lacking some ability to score around the basket in traffic, but also some aggressiveness to attack the rim. He can pass the ball off the drive with mixed results: his intentions seem pretty interesting, but he’s not that precise with his passes. In the shooting department he looks quite inconsistent. He enjoys range out to the three point line, but his mechanics probably need to be polished. Benzing barely uses his size to post-up his opponents, emerging as virtually a pure face-up player at this point.

Can't finish. Can't shoot. Can't play with his back to the basket. Great! Let's sign him!

Guilt driven google-stalking now complete.

Have a great weekend everyone!