Ohhhhhhh, Mr. President. How could you? You beloved state is reeling from the economic down turn. Jobs are evaporating like a pond in the Gobi Desert. The Big Three are in the process of becoming... well... nothing. We were counting on you.

You campaigned in Michigan. You promised us your support. Hell, every whack-job, 17 year-old with a social conscious located in Ann Arbor signed up to canvass Detroit for you. Detroit! Yeah, that's where a 17 year-old, 140 pound white kid from Grosse Pointe needs to be at 10pm hanging up flyers. They gave you so much! This is how you repay them?

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You're picking, Clemson? Clemson! Clemson!? You're killing us. First, you water down the auto maker bailouts, and now this? We've got 9 more electoral college votes than they do! What the hell!?

Well. Good day, sir. You have lost the vote I may or may not have filed for or against you. Instead, I will throw my support to a candidate who believes in Michigan, and, of course, interstellar domination.

(Ed. Note - For those of you who don't realize this is in jest, you're morons. Seriously.)