Zoltan Don't Play

by Maize n Brew Dave on Aug 24, 2009 4:25 PM CDT in Michigan Football

What did you say? Did you just ask me about the quarterback competition? Son. You don't want to go there. If you do I'll have to introduce you to my twin pythons, Truth & Justice. I have to warn you, Justice don't like you. Truth ain't your friend either. Can't blame them though. After a three year diet of Olympic iron, they're hungry for a soft candy-ass like you. You want to talk punting? Fine. That's how I roll. You know my left leg by it's full name, "The American Way." You have to ask? Because if you front, hescominagetcha. He reigns death from above. He controls the skies and the field of play.

You want to ask me about rumors? They're true. I punt satellites into orbit. And, yes. I am the Strategic Defense Initiative. When you see shooting stars, they're just footballs returning to earth. So come correct. What? you're out of questions? If you need a topic to discuss, I'll give you one. Ever see guns like this on a punter?

You know the answer. Bitch.

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Comments

What's the name of his left leg?

My money’s on “Hubert”.

(Love your blog, by the way.)

by LoneStarHoosier on Aug 24, 2009 7:34 PM CDT reply actions

Man, I hate to nit pick

feel like an ass…but he’s a south paw.

by BlueBulls on Aug 25, 2009 7:59 AM CDT reply actions

Things written in haste...

thanks for the catch. Years of Catholicism has prejudiced me against people with the devil hand. ;)

Maize n Brew
Because Football is Better with Beer

by Maize n Brew Dave on Aug 25, 2009 8:37 AM CDT up reply actions

Actually...

It’s just that Zoltan is not allowed to use his right foot as it would cause a wrinkle in time… either that it or it would be like crossing the streams on Ghostbusters.

GO BLUE! http://www.maizenbrew.com/

by SCM on Aug 25, 2009 12:57 PM CDT up reply actions