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Discarded Big Ten Division Names

As you're now aware, the Big Ten has expanded and split into two 6 team divisions. We've even got a crappy new logo. After months weeks days no speculation as to what those division names would be, the Big Ten decided it was critical to air a special presentation in the middle of a Monday when no one could watch it or care about it. Genius.

On the plus side, the new Stagg-Paterno Big Ten Championship Game Trophy was unveiled.

Trophy_medium
Suh-Wheeet!!!

While the division alignments weren't a surprise, the names... well... yeah... they weren't much of a suprise either. They were just bad. The names they finally decided on were the Leaders and Legends divisions. Even though these names are really the best ones anyone could hope for, they were better than some of the other proposed Division names, at least according to the secret list of proposed Big Ten Division Names Maize n Brew acquired earlier today.

Discarded Proposed Division Names

* Phillips - Clarrett
* Slow - Plodding
* Cowsgo - Moo
* Western Division Brought to You By Wells Fargo - Eastern Division Brought to You By Jerry's Muffler World of LaPorte, IN
* Johnson - Koulianos
* BratsandCheese - Angina
* Runrunrun - Punt
* Moeller - Brewster
* Moosebitescanbequite - Nastydonchaknow
* Couch - Burn

More after the jump...

Star-divide

* Croso - Dinardo
* Sally - Janet
* Ro*Tel - Barasol
* Threeyards - Cloudofdust
* Notre - Dame
* Eastern Division - Thank God We No Longer Have to Play Texas or Oklahoma Division
* Cash - Money
* MoreofHowardGriffin - Thanyoucouldeverimagine
* Rust - Belt
* Noreally,mycousinwasbittenbyaMooseonce - Hehadtohavearabiesshot
* Wouldyoulikesome - Deliciouscorn
* Meth - Crack
* Thresher - Rims
* Sixfeetofsnow - Fourfeetofsnow
* Arby's - Buick
* Migrantfieldworker - Migrantcondobuilder
* Children of the Corn - Zombieland
* Godforsakenbarrenwasteland - Chicago
* SpaceBitches - Space
* Tastes Great - Less Filling
* I'mnotgoingto - Payalotforthismuffler
* BlackHeart - MaizePants
* Domesare - Forpussies
* Dumb - Dumber
* Fatchix - Nofatchix
* Wecan - Frythat
* Thisonetime - Atbandcamp
* Propertyof - JimTressel

Sadly, the conference didn't use any of them.

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That last one has me rolling...

I’m actually somewhat surprised this wasn’t done…

http://maizenbrew.com
Get it?

by Beauford on Dec 13, 2010 2:50 PM CST reply actions  

Brats-and-cheese & Angina

My favorite.
The brats and cheese part, I mean.

Go Blue!

by markusr2007 on Dec 13, 2010 6:09 PM CST reply actions  

Surprised that...

“Shits – Giggles” wasn’t on your list.

One more, in the vein of boring, how about, “Six in One / Half-Dozen in the other”?

Love the Phillips / Clarrett one!

by carljsamuelson on Dec 14, 2010 10:46 AM CST reply actions  

How do "The leaders and best!"

Get stuck in the Legends Division?

I suppose they would have put you in the East Division had they gone with more traditional names too oh great champions of the West.

by BlackCats on Dec 14, 2010 12:03 PM CST reply actions  

Phillips - Clarrett

has got me rolling. Great list!

by Saals on Dec 14, 2010 11:35 PM CST reply actions  

I should've added

Fat – Fatter
Boring – Snoring
Up In Smoke – Wall Street
Rollin – Hatin
Split Titles – BCS Titles
Pants – No Pants

Maize n Brew
Because Football is Better with Beer

by Maize n Brew Dave on Dec 15, 2010 7:45 AM CST reply actions  

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