There are few people on this little rock we call home that possess the style to make Billie D. Williams and Pierce Brosnan look like hobos. One such man is Desmond Howard. He is half Cheetah, half Armani, and a quarter Dutch. He's so smooth that teflon was developed after studying one of his used Kleenex. He is the power of the cheese. When moving he is the exception to Newtonian physics, there's no friction. He made Herbstreit a Michigan fan. He can start a fire simply by rubbing his hands together, twice. Scientists recently discovered a particle that moves too fast to photograph, they named it Desmondium. His ties are made exclusively from silk derived kobe-beef-fed silk worms. His suits are made by Italian oompah-loompahs. He once posed for a sculpture class; each piece created that day has been sold for a minimum of $21,000,000.00 at auction. He knows pimpin' is easy. College Gameday Live operates exculsively on the power generated by his smile.

Congratulations on your pending enshrinement in the College Football Hall of Fame Desmond. You sure as hell earned it.