On Tap: Your Friday Drinking Instructions Are Seeing Red

Today was supposed to mark a return to normalcy in the world of YFDI; we've had a week to reflect back upon Expansionpalooza, got to see the good side of Rich Rodriguez and have started to gear up for the coming football season.  Unfortunately, YFDI watched the World Cup all morning...and did not like what it saw.

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While we're no fan of Zee Germans, we are a big fan of quality officiating.  Klose's 2nd yellow (which equals a red card, i.e., ejection, for the soccer-deficient) would have barely been a foul had it been inflicted upon "30 Rock" character, Phoebe ("hollow bones, you know").  As it turns out, this was far from the most egregious referee decision today.  More ranting after the jump...

Today's drinking instructions come courtesy of the state of Wisconsin, Michigan's chief rival in Big Ten country for brewing supremacy.  Wisconsin, as it is German-American territory, produces a wealth of crisp, refreshing beer perfect for combating the hot, Gary-Williams-level-sweaty weather we're experiencing here in Chicago.  However, as it is something like late fall in South Africa and the events of today have us needing to forget, I will humbly submit to you the cold-weather, brain-cell-shredding beverage of the evening:

Your Friday Drinking Instructions: The Capital Brewery 's Imperial Doppelbock from Middleton, Wisconsin

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With a nose reminiscent of cola, and a flavor akin to dried cherries and caramel, this bruising (read: 9% alcohol by volume) brew will have you confused and slurring your speech in no time...which would still leave you more articulate than today's biggest bullshitter, Koman Coulibaly.  "Who is Koman Coulibaly?" you may wonder.  Why, he is the lovechild of Ed Hightower and Ted Valentine who happened to have the distinction of ruining this morning's perfectly excellent United States comeback, of course. 

 

After playing first-half defense that only "TEH GERG" could love, our beloved Red, While and Blue found themselves down 2-0 at the half.  (An aside: American defender, Oguchi Onyewu, has offered to play free-of-charge this upcoming season for his club team, AC Milan, because he was unable to play this season due to injury...hey, Gooch, can we carry that offer over to the US National Team?)  The second half saw a complete about-face, as the Americans made the preceding period seem as though it had occurred in some sort of Bizarro World:

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Yes, the US was solely responsible for the predicament in which they found themselves going into the last bit of the match.  However, it can not be overstated enough: this game should have been a United States victory.  After a blistering goal from Landon Donovan and an expertly struck rebound by Michael Bradley, the US found themselves level with their Alpine adversaries.  And these goals were hardly an aberration; the Americans peppered the Slovenian box with opportunities left and right during the game's closing minutes.  Finally, after a number of close calls the US broke through...or so we thought.  Instead of allowing a brilliant goal by Maurice Edu on an expertly-struck free kick, the Malian referee, Coulibaly, disallowed said goal by making a call which appears to  have been made from the distance of Timbuktu (which is apropos for all of you history majors).  The best breakdown of the play appeared earlier on SBN by EDSBS sage, Spencer Hall:

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This graphic would appear to show that the foul was called on the US for being too easily fouled themselves.  Again, all credit is due to Hall for succinctly dubbing the call a "crapulent fiction."  So although the day should be dubbed a success due to a) seeing Deutchland beaten and b) the Americans making a stirring comeback, the miserable officiating has ruined what would otherwise be a glorious chapter in this event.

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"Do you know how many Capital Imperial Doppelbocks I'll need to forget this bullshit?!?"

Well said, Michael, well said.

Oh, and England, when you "write the future" you may want to leave today out of the story...
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