ON TAP: Your Friday Drinking Instructions CUBED
by Beauford on Jun 25, 2010 12:49 PM CDT
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It's Friday, finally, and Dave's stuck somewhere with only phone Internet access. HORRORS. And to think, just a few years ago I was scrambling to find an ethernet cable to plug my Dell Desktop into the highspeed jack on a college campus. Now we have internets on our phones. And we complain about it. NOT GOODT ENOUGH.
SPEAKING OF COLLEGE, it's my humble opinion that this space has spend ENTIRELY too much time on the more delicious, and therefore more expensive brews available. Ah how I LONG for the heady days of foregoing taste completely in favor of sheer volume. And what days they were! Indiscriminately grabbing ice cold cans of whatever the hell floated to the top of an 80 gallon cooler; more than likely spilling the contents down the front of your shirt, opening a beer, forgetting you opened it, and grabbing another one because, hey, 30 cents a can. Can you play beer-pong with your doppleganger omabock single-malt brew? Probably. IF YOU'RE WARREN BUFFET. So today, my dear friends, we go for the cheap. We go for the beer-cube.
via gecatalogimages.meijer.com
30 beers. $10.00. No wasting time. Bud Light? Too classy for this post. They only come in 24's. I want a little more filth to my cube, please. The following list is by no means definitive, but serves as as starting point:
Busch Lite
Milwaukee's Best
Miller High Life
Natural Light
Natural Ice
Keystone Light
Now then, Mr. Smarty Pants, I know what you're about to say. I know because I've read the same things you have. "But these have less % alcohol so you're actually getting less drunk and filling up on water." I know - I get the math, I went to college. WHERE DO YOU THINK I LEARNED TO DRINK NATURAL ICE? I think I'll take my drinking advice from those enrolled in our nation's finest institutions of higher learning. Besides, you know what 3 layers of 10 beers each gets you? 30 beers. For the cost of one of your 10% alcohol by volume bottle of German pee-brew. Where'd you go? University of Phoenix? I THOUGHT SO. In addition to being voluminous, the 30 pack serves many other functions in and around the house. BONUS CAT CARRIER:
via redneckhumor.com
BONUS SUIT OF ARMOR:
via bitcast-a.v1.o1.sjc1.bitgravity.com
While admittedly going for volume, there is a certain pallet required for the cheapest of the cheap. I myself tend towards Busch Lite as the tastiest of these cubes, but you may differ. Comments, please, are welcome, but if I get one whiff of snooty beer in the comments (I'm looking at you, Kyle McCann't) I will e-slap you with my college degree, which is in a rich mahogany frame that has netted me next to nothing except a weakened liver, and the ability to multiply 10 by 3. Perhaps one day, I will know the riches that were promised me when I enrolled, and I too will be playing beer pong with Spotted-Dog-Royal-IPA-Heffe-Hitler beer with Warren Buffet.
So this weekend, go out to your local package store and shed yourself of those extra 5-15 years you've been carrying around (or, if currently in college, go, um, do what you would normally do on a Friday night). Procure yourself a cube of America's finest, and drink about 15 of them in the sun. Remember how it tastes, because that, my friends, is the taste of youth*, which for my money - all $10.99 of it - is the best taste of all.
* Taste of Youth has exactly a 13 hour window at which point the youth part will abandon you, and you will realize that you're instead old, fat, sunburned, and likely hung over.
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Once again, Post of the Week
Bravo, Good sir
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
Haha.
No need for me to post today! That’s what I get for procrastinating. Remember to hydrate!
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
Back in the day
The big debate was between Natty and Keystone, I always tended toward the Keystone side of the fence myself, plus they get bonus points for their fantastic new Keith Stone line of advertising… Now I’d probably say Busch, which may be entirely due to the fact that I was once told that Busch is actually just the run-off of Bud and Bud Lite (like the last 5% of the tanks or some such thing)… so there’s that, which even if not accurate, sounds cool (or gross depending on your stance).
GO BLUE! http://www.maizenbrew.com/
High Life would like a word with you (3 actually)...
…“champaign of beers.” MHL shouldn’t be in the same category as Natty Ice.
Hamm’s, PBR, Lone Star, Schlitz… let’s make a colorful beer-amid on top of our passed out friend. Ah, college.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Jun 25, 2010 4:13 PM CDT reply actions
Best beer pong ever played
I had a Saranac mix pack. I’ll never play beer pong with light beer again.
by formerlyanonymous on Jun 25, 2010 4:20 PM CDT reply actions
BEAST!!!
Nothing tastes better from a funnel. And speaking of beer snobbery, when the fuck did Rolling Rock become a “good” beer? Great post.
"Nothing cleanses the soul like getting the hell kicked out of you."
I liked the 18 pack of Icehouse when in college.
It was small enough to carry around to parties conveniently, but big enough that you could you could give away one or two and still have enough for yourself. At $6.00 per 18 pack it meets your appx. 30 cents a can requirement.
Good relevant post--sometimes, times are tough
All the brands listed will do, but Icehouse is actually a decent beer plus the 5.5 abv gets the buzz going a little sooner. Is it sold in a 30 pack up there? This might be worth the extra 3 to 5 dollars. I’ve only seen it in a 24 pack down here in La. A little bonus if you don’t already know: Hump Day! is back on The Smoking Musket site; so, look it up, click on the Hump Day segment—you can visit some of the previous Hump Days also, pop open a can or twist off a bottle of whatever you have and enjoy. This worked for me—drank Natty—last night when I just happened to come across the site. It is indeed entertainment at the minimum of cost thanks to some good people in West Virginia.
Rec'd for the disclaimer if nothing else
I always preferred Miller Lite when slumming it in the beer world. Also PBR is a beer my friends use as currency for bad bets. You lose, you buy and drink PBR.
You're a Michigan blog, dammit.
http://www.wearyourbeer.com/images/Strohs_Can_White_Shirt.jpg
http://gecatalogimages.meijer.com/000/72040/0007204031373.jpg
Stroh’s was good beer when made in Detroit. Then Miller bought it, moved the brewing to Milwaukee, and turned it into cheap piss. Either way, it deserves a mention.
Husker tested. Husker approved.
I came here looking for new expansion news. This… is way better. Glad to here that our two states have such a connection in cheap beer. Personally for my hometown, the stones would move up to #2 or #3, but to each his own. Can’t wait to get some of you to Lincoln to test you on a Nebraska made electric beer bong.
Don't get too comfy.
Big Ten country (Michigan in particular) is home to some serious craft brewing. Once Nebraska gets their academics up to CIC level the next step is to get you guys some hardcore breweries. This is a break from the expensive stuff…it’ll be back soon enough…
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Jun 29, 2010 2:24 AM CDT up reply actions
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