2011 BCS National Championship Drinking Game: How To Cope With Auburn v. Oregon One Drink At A Time

Let's face it folks. There are no winners tonight. Only survivors. In honor of our original Tim Tebow National Championship Drinking Game, we figured it was time for a 2010-2011 version. So, behold, The 2011 BCS National Championship Drinking Game!

(Disclaimer: Playing the 2011 BCS National Championship drinking game may will result in death. So don't do it. Ever. Not even in jest. The content above this disclaimer is a joke, not a suggestion. If you're dumb enough to do it, just pray Tebow is nearby. Only he can save you. Him or a local hospital with a stomach pump.)

  • First and foremost, one drink every quarter as a thank you to the College Football Gods that this game IS NOT being broadcast by FOX.
  • Drink every time someone is caught picking their nose on camera.
  • Finish your beer when they're caught eating it.
  • Drink every time the announcers appear shocked that Oregon quarterback Darron Thomas actually possesses an arm, and that he uses it the throw the football.
  • Drink every time Cameron Newton trucks an Oregon defender (sips on this one, people).
  • Drink every time LaMichael James blows through the line of scrimmage in a manner resembling a scramjet.
  • Drink every time dollar bills fall out of Cam Newton's pockets.
  • Drink every time Oregon's day-glo uniforms cause someone around you to have a seizure.
  • Drink every time the announcers say something along the lines of "Auburn hasn't seen a hurry-up offense like this before."
  • Finish your drink if the Oregon Duck's mascot picks a fight with Auburn's mascot Aubie the Tiger.
  • Shots all around the table if the Duck tries to hump the War Eagle.
  • Drink every time the announcers say something along the lines of "Oregon hasn't faced a physical offense like this before."
  • Drink every time Brent Musberger says something on air that clearly indicates he's intoxicated.
  • Drink every time Nick Fairley spears someone (again, sips on this one).
  • Drink every time Erin Andrews appears on screen wasting everyone's time with some fluffy, useless report on someone's family or love of lasertag.
  • Drink every time Kirk Herbstreit looks at the monitor following an Andrews report and obviously appears to be contemplating why he hasn't nailed her yet.
  • Drink every time you see Nike CEO Phil Knight on the sidelines.
  • Drink twice every time you see Nike CEO Phil Knight is wearing sunglasses, indoors, at night.
  • Finish your drink every time you see Nike CEO Phil calling plays for Oregon.
  • Drink everytime the announcers, any of them, remark about how physical and demanding the SEC is without noting that Stanford just hung 40 on Virginia Tech and that 6-6 Washington just beat the Big XII runner up.
  • Drink everytime the announcers mention Tim Tebow.

More after the jump!

  • Drink every time ABC/ESPN show some recycled actor who will be starring in "this season's breakthrough hit" for no reason at all.
  • Drink every time the announcers reference the Heisman trophy, then make Heisman pose.

Howard_20heisman_20pose_medium
The only true Heisman pose. via www.freewebs.com

  • One drink for every point over 30 each team scores.
  • Drink every time an Under Armor commercial is shown and yell "Click Clack!"
  • Drink every time Cecil Newton appears on television.
  • Finish your drink if he is laughing and rubbing himself with hundred dollar bills.
  • Drink every time LeGarrette Blount's knockout punch is mentioned.
  • Drink every time the announcers mention that either team wouldn't be here if not for missed field goals.
  • Finish drink for each missed field goal.

That oughta do it. Remember. Don't do this. It's bad for you.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Maize n Brew

You must be a member of Maize n Brew to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Maize n Brew. You should read them.

Join Maize n Brew

You must be a member of Maize n Brew to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Maize n Brew. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker