The "Source" Behind It All is Revealed: Thank you, "Nas"

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: Nasir Jones, calling himself "Nas", from Queensbridge, New York, has revealed himself as the source "with knowledge of Brandon's decision-making" from the Freep and ESPN.  Below, in their entirety, are his comments on the matter.  (ed note: Some salty language ahead)

Mr. Jones:

Although it seemed like a plan
we ain't ready, needed a Michigan Man
Although it seemed like a plan
we ain't ready, needed a Michigan Man

They kicked us off the block
Got us fightin for survival
Solitary confinement
How violent are these rivals?
They say Carr needed early retirement
How many blowouts will I see?
I ain't got it in me to leave
I got a ‘Nard to spark
The D’s in a drought
Public hatin’, no projects
Cookin’ up to fix them problems
His set, His click
Either getting money
Or running from NCAA trials
That's if we ain't died yet

Trying to axe Rich
Still I'm pretendin’ ignorance
A practice violation, a stubborn leader
Lending his Barwisin’ genius
To whoever may need it
For every Mealer, a Dorsey
Now living with my hands up
Mostly defeated
So a new guy’s needed
Y'know these maize-blue folks, they bleedin’
Hate to see one not from their own succeeding
Harbaugh, surprise us
And let a Bo man guide us

Although it seemed like a plan
we ain't ready, needed a Michigan Man
Although it seemed like a plan
we ain't ready, needed a Michigan Man

What’s the other guy thinkin’ on Gator Bowl night?
Is it how can I protect my life, protect my wife, protect my rights?
Every other coach was nothin' less than true
Except Coach Bo and mixed Buckeye blood
rest in peace
Trolls is like 'what the fuck', loadin' they guns up
loadin' mine too, Ready to riot
Cause I'm ridin' with my crew
Coach dies – we find one new
But on a positive side,
I think Harbaugh trumps Hoke - and challenges minds
Of all races and rivals to erase the hate
And try and get back to winnin’, stompin’ them snakes
We in need of a break
Im thinkin' I can trust this new brotha
But will he keep it way real?
Every tattooed Buckeye in jail - gets out on appeal
If he wins - will he really care still?
I feel . . .

Although it seemed like a plan
we ain't ready, needed a Michigan Man
Although it seemed like a plan
we ain't ready, needed a Michigan Man


Say a prayer for "do we have to?"
You ain't right, Rodriguez pastor
In love with a 3-3-5 master
Sincerely yours:
Michigan’s most trusted man
Harbaugh, Miles, Hoke-san
This one clown
Ask around
Got some Luck off the Richter
He wasn’t no shit, now he’s sicker
What?
Politics, Big Ten dicks
Secondary-shooter
Deacon for defense
Progress-producer
No heat on his seat
A survival-booster
Gotta do what we gotta do
We ain't got no five-stars comin’ through to help
anything we need done, we gotta do for self
New-improved stronger D on it sway
It best be the 90’s again
Let them CB’s be Woodsons again
We ain't falling for the same traps
Lining up like we ain’t seen shit
Where they bounced the Rod at
Bill Martin got apologies
Ain't nobody hearing that

People need honesty
Although it seemed like a plan
we ain't ready, needed a Michigan Man
Although it seemed like a plan
we ain't ready, needed a Michigan Man

It is my distinct honor and privilege to introduce the next Head Coach of the Michigan Wolverines:

(fade to black)

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