OK, so the process is completed. The dough has risen. It's ready to be kneaded into a disc-shapped.....Oh wait a minute. Are we making pizzas here or what?
Alright. It's official. Michigan head coach Rich Rodriguez has been fired, along with his entire coaching staff for all we know, and no replacement head coach has been named. Instead Brandon has announced a national search for a new Michigan head coach and staff commencing now. Like right now. As is, NOW! No, I meant... NOW! Right NOW!
Fantastic job Dave! I mean, you had us all worried that things might spiral, you know, out of fucking control or something.
Then it occurred to me that you and Mary Sue might need a little help.
OK. Here you go, Dave. These tips are free. Now pick up the goddamned phone and start doing your job!
Here is a good, but not thorough, list of candidates that are not "Michigan Men", but probably should be investigated immediately:
1. Chris Peterson, Boise State head coach, age 46. 61-5 over last five season.
2. Gary Patterson, TCU head coach, age 51 in February, 98-28 over last 11 seasons.
3. K.C. Keeler, Delaware head coach, age 51, 161-62-1 overall, 74-41 at Delaware, 3 national title games, 1 national title, next title game this Friday vs. E. Washington. He is Delaware's version of Jim Harbaugh, having been a start QB for the Blue Hens and having played for revered UD coach Tubby Raymond (UD's Bo).
4. Chip Kelly, Oregon head coach, age 47, extremely well-rounded coach defensively and offensively, brilliant offensive coordinator background, spread offense conducive to Rodriguez's approach and roster structure. Excellent recruiter. Kelly is probably happy at Oregon, but they said that when he was still a 7 year OC at New Hampshire too.
5. Mark Farley, head coach Northern Iowa, age 47. Farley is not well-known in all circles, but he has been winning a lot of football games for UNI - a ridiculous winning track record: 89-37 over 10 seasons including 6 playoff appearances for UNI.
What other candidates make sense? Please include "Michigan Man!" samples. We must, since we all know too well how much they all want to come back "home" to coach at Michigan again.