…with all apologies to Jeff Foxworthy and rednecks everywhere:

If you have more tat’s than Dennis Rodman but haven’t paid for them, you might be a Buckeye

If you think a sweater-vest is a fashion statement, you might be a Buckeye

If your Momma cuts her leg shaving and gravy comes out, you might be a Buckeye

If you’re a “struggling” college athlete from the inner-city and you drive a nicer car than most of the professors on campus, you might be a Buckeye

If your diploma can be used as a handicap placard on the dashboard of your car, you might be a Buckeye

If you think God looks like Jim Tressel and Heaven looks like Columbus, OH, you might be a Buckeye

If you are the president of a college and your response to your football team’s possible major NCAA violations is “I just hope the head coach doesn’t fire me…”, you might be a Buckeye

If you REALLY think the Miami defensive back interfered with your receiver in the end zone in OT of the National Championship game, you might be a Buckeye

If you don’t see the irony of one of your school colors being “scarlet”, you might be a Buckeye

If you still think Woody Hayes got a raw deal, you might be a Buckeye

If you think Youngstown State ran a clean program under Tressel in the 1990’s, you might be a Buckeye

If you think that emails can’t be traced, saved or forwarded, you might be a Buckeye

If you think like one player who stated that “only society will suffer more not having Tressel around…”, you might be a Buckeye

If you think “I wish he was still around so we could get even and kick his ass on the field”, you might be a Wolverine….