There've been a lot of changes in the B1G Ten over the last few months. New logos, new divisions, new conference members, and a boatload of new coaches. Indiana, Minnesota, Michigan and Ohio State are all breaking in new headset wearers. I'm still shocked that Illinois isn't. Normally, you only see turnover like this at KPMG when the Feds start investigating their tax-shelter derivatives. So, as a public service, we thought it'd be a good idea to introduce, or re-introduce you to the conference's current head coaches.
Our thought? Give you a little background on them, their coaching past, and how they roll. As an aside, since all of our requests for interviews were turned down and the cops caught us rooting through Brady Hoke's recycling (again), we were forced to take some liberties with their bios. But fear not, dear reader, we kept it as close to how we perceive these coaches as possible, so we're pretty sure the coaches themselves would look at these pieces and say, "Yup. That's me." (No. No they wouldn't. They'd pick up the phone and call their lawyer). But, hey, what's the offseason without a little satire. The first of our introductions was the Conference's newest coaching circle member, Nebraska's Bo Pelini. So now it's time to look at another new face in the B1G Ten, Indiana's new head coach ....er... whatever his name is....
HR Puff n Stuff
Coaching Record: 0-0
Indiana in 2010: 5-7
I can hear you now.
But Dave, that's not his real name. Indiana's head coach is Kevin Wilson. You should know that.
Whatever. Does it really matter what Indiana's head coach is named? Really? Being named the Hoosier's head coach is the equivalent of being a drummer for Spinal Tap, except with a shorter, more painful life span. Whoever Indiana's current, non-gum-throwing Head Coach is, he's going to have a rough go. For simplicity's sake we'll just call him Charlie, and Charlie's screwed.
Indiana has practice facilities that make MAC schools laugh, a football stadium that was built on a budget of $27.31, and a fanbase that uses football season as time to sober up before basketball season begins. Whatever amount they paid Charlie to leave (what was it, Oklahoma?) It wasn't enough. Indiana is where head coaching careers go to die extremely painful, public deaths.
Since Bill Mallory left after 10 seasons with his sterling (by Indiana standards) .473 winning percentage, the average coaching tenure at Indiana has been 3.5 years with a winning percentage of .333. But hey, look at the bright side Charlie. Once your career craters in Bloomington you can take the tattered remnants of your resume to the Big Ten Network (or ESPN) and begin your broadcast career. It's worked out pretty well for Jerry DiNardo (3 seasons, 8-27) and Lee Corso (10 seasons, 41–68–2).
But, since I should probably do some actual work on this topic, Indiana's new head coach is not named Charlie. He's named Kevin Wilson, and he came over from Oklahoma where he was OU's offensive coordinator since 2005. Wilson's got 25 years of assistant coaching experience under his belt and was the man behind the curtain for Oklahoma's pinball-like offensive machine during the Sam Bradford years. Still, it's not like Chalie... er... Wilson is coming into a program loaded with talent. He's also going to be breaking in a new signal caller and a LOT of offensive players.
Just a word of caution there Charlie, stay away from drum sets.
(Previously: Getting To Know You: Nebraska's Bo Pelini).