Thursday Happy Hour is wading through BCS bullshit

Not suitable for a playoff game. (Photo by Leon Halip/Getty Images)

The 11 FBS conference commissioners and Notre Dame AD Jack Swarbrick are currently getting a helluva vacation in Florida working their asses off to try and reform the outdated college football postseason model. As you can imagine when you gather 12 of the most conniving, self interested, powerful men in college football in the same place, things are going to boil down into two major categories.

The Wildly Obvious

"Hey guys, so despite the fact that literally everyone but the bowl executives --- who let's face it, are probably too busy with "brand management" missions to seedy Arizona strip joints to figure out what is at stake --- absolutely loathe the old postseason system, we figured we would just come out and assure everyone that, no, we won't do it exactly like that in the future. There will be some changes. It may not be much, because let's face it, we like finding backwards ass ways to do things round here. But believe us, something is going to change."

Ok, so it wasn't worded exactly like that (although the above was there in the subtext of the whole statement, but what the hell are we really supposed to take from:

"The status quo is off the table,"

Thanks guys. I always knew you were complete shills to your own crooked interests, but I had a hard time believing the 12 of you were all able to secure your positions through a mix of dumb luck and what I can only imagine was a healthy dose of nepotism. Knowing that you're all at least not completely oblivious is comforting for the future of the sport I

Complete and Utter Bullshit

BCS executive director Bill Hancock has said there are questions about whether some college campuses had the infrastructure necessary to accommodate the crush of fans and media attending a college football semifinal.

"The infrastructure needed on campus is significant," Hancock told the Associated Press. "That's a factor. That's just one example of the intricacies that are part of this."

He actually said this. I defer my reaction in favor of two luminaries. Brian Cook:

Bill Hancock wonders if college football stadiums have the infrastructure to host college football games. You can't make this up, because if you did people would hit you really hard with rolled-up socks.

Spencer Hall:

The intricacies that you'll have to split with a school, as opposed to moving all the succulent kickbacks and marginal toll-keeping the bowls get to the hands of the BCS, and thus to the schools at large. Creating a playoff system of any sort won't be about knocking down the aggregate amount of graft at play here. It's about shifting that graft around and eliminating pesky middlemen like the bowls themselves, who have to be disgorging every last tee time, free dinner, and other untraceable perk to school presidents this week in Florida.

And therein lies the rub, folks. Post season reform was never about the real problems inherent in the shoddy system holding the sport hostage. It isn't about the fact that schools are routinely raked over the coals for accepting invitations to play in prestigious bowl games in places like El Paso, TX; Boise, ID; Tampa, FL Pasadena, CA or New Orleans, LA. It doesn't matter that bowl executives rake in hundreds of thousands of dollars in ill-begotten salaries paid by kickbacks from hotels and athletic departments. It doesn't even matter that this slimy bowl industry has no real power outside of that which the NCAA just passively hands over.

The status quo isn't off the table. The status quo is all that we really have, the conference commissioners, BCS executives, and a bunch of liquored up fat men getting lap dances on their fat, non-profit classified, bowl executive paychecks just want to keep the majority of fans satisfied enough so that the scheme can live on.

If you want a longer wrap up of the BCS reform meetings, check out Black Shoe Diaries for an excellent breakdown.

Time to hit the links:

Dave Brandon puts Michigan's drug policy results 'up against anybody in the country'

"I'm very, very proud of our student-athletes," Brandon told reporters earlier this week. "The last year, I would put our results up against anybody in the country. And we test for synthetic, as well as regular marijuana and the other drugs.

He continued, "put us up against Florida, or Georgia, or Oregon. Yeah, that's the ticket. Compare us to those guys."

Director Brian Kruger discusses Black and Blue - I don't link to MVictors nearly as much as I should, but if you are a Michigan sports nut (why else would you be here?) with any interest in history, MVictors is the place for you. Check out a Q&A with documentarian Brian Kruger on his film that looks at Michigan football, Gerald Ford, and a game against Georgia Tech in 1934.

2012 NFL Draft Preview: Michigan-style - Magnus at Touch the Banner does his own mock draft for Michigan's potential draftees. It is about the same as everywhere else: no need to pay much attention until the third round.

Big Ten and the NFL draft: the last decade - Speaking of the draft, ESPN's Big Ten blog compiled the number of players drafted from each B1G school since 2002. As you would imagine, Michigan is near the top with 40 players drafted (behind OSU (66), Iowa (42), and Nebraska (41)). Had Michigan kept its normal draft pace in place over the last four years one could expect an easy second place finish. Let's hope Michigan is moving back that way.

It's Not Plagiarism If You Link To It: The Brian Ferentz-ification of Iowa Football?

Changes needed to be made both on the field and off. Iowa's brand takes a hit when media labels your program stale. It's recruiting and talent that wins football games. If today's youth wants to wear Pro Combat uniforms or interact via social media you have to have personnel that can understand and communicate on their level. They have to accomplish that and still develop Big Ten caliber football players.

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