Programming note: I don't have Internet, which means we've got an abbreviated preview today. Don't worry, my Internet and alcohol consumption have an inverse relationship, so I've got plenty of recommendations, but alas, no GIFs..
Military Bowl: Proudly Sponsoring Our Troops
Marshall vs Maryland, 12/17, 2:30pm, ESPN
Quick Summary: Since you probably missed it, Marshall actually has a really good offense, scoring lots - transfer quarterback Rakeem Cato "bombed" (heh) 36 TD's this year. Also, the opposing defense in this game is Maryland's, who gave up roughly a million points to the buzz saw that is FSU's offense. Former Michigan target Stefon Diggs is out for Maryland, who look to enter the Big Fourteenten on the right foot - meaning a blowout loss.
Any Redemption? Tough to say. This'll be an offensive showdown, but in my "I rule the world but really mostly the BCS" scenario, this game doesn't happen.
Drink of Choice: Huntington, West Virginia, has very few redeeming qualities to outsiders, but one of them is the distinction of being The World's Largest Provider of Moonshine. In their honor, go distill something in your bathtub and suck it down. Blindness not insured by MnB's user guidelines.
Texas Bowl: Gross
'Cuse vs Minnesota, 12/27, 6pm, ESPN
Quick Summary: Blech. I hate Syracuse and don't care about their football team, but Minnesota is the feel-good story of the Big Ten this year. After getting pantsed by Michigan, Minnesota rebounded nicely under Jerry Kill and had a pretty good year. This is your championship, Gophers. Drink up.
Any Redemption? Sure, actually. I got nothing against the Gophers, who'll be happy to travel south of Green Bay for the first time in most of their lives.
Drink of Choice: Ah. Texas. I remember a few years ago when Tito's Vodka was still a hidden gem, but thanks to capitalism and drinking everywhere, this affordable clear booze is now mainstream. Go get some, and drink every time you're confused by the awful color schemes in this game.
Fight Hunger Game: Some Teams Out West
BYU vs Washington, 12/27, 9:30pm, ESPN
Quick Summary: Washington lost their head coach to USC and stole Boise State's, proving that they're totally a ladder school right? I cannot believe that Chris Petersen, talk of the NCAA a couple years ago, is headed to wherever Washington plays.
Any Redemption? I can't stand games played at baseball fields. So none at all.
Drink of Choice: Water. BYU folk can't drink, so if you're feeling risqué, add a twist of lemon or (gasp) lime.
Pinstripe Bowl: HAHAHA NOTRE DAME
Rutgers vs Notre Dame, 12/28, noon, ESPN
Quick Summary: Notre Dame finally has a worthy bowl opponent in Rutgers, who obviously didn't get this game instead of the Pizza Bowl because they're in the New York Media Market, which hasn't really ever been an excuse for anything before - oh hey, Jim Delaney. Sssh now. It'll be okay. Notre Dame lost both its coordinators and I think more of their QBs are transferring.
Any Redemption? Tommy Rees gives you one last chance to see Turnover Santa until Christmas next year.
Drink of Choice: Long Island iced teas, strong.
Belk Bowl: I don't know what a Belk is?
UNC vs Cincy, 12/28, 3:20pm, ESPN
Quick Summary: Tommy Tuberville has bounced back nicely in Cincy, leading them to nine wins. UNC has overcome their ridiculous string of scandals to win six games, but are facing an uphill battle versus the Bearcats, who are sure to get up for this game, having won it last year as well.
Any Redemption? Struggling here. Axe this game.
Drink of Choice: UNC is playing in North Carolina, which is another shameless nod to bowl attendance, so I'm going to suggest ambling over to your fridge blindfolded and grabbing the first liquid you can find. Soup? Sure. Eggnog? Sure. Tabasco? Double sure.
Russell Bowl: Finally, a good one?
Miami vs Louisville, 12/28, 6:45pm, ESPN
Quick Summary: Teddy and the Fighting Bridgewaters take on a Miami team with high expectations, but then they got Jameis'd. This is your last chance to see Teddy Bridgewater play on a competitive team, because he's probably headed to Jacksonville or Oakland. Don't be surprised to see him retire after this game.
Any Redemption? This will actually be a good football game. Bridgewater is "undecided" about returning to school, which he'll probably finalize after learning the NFL draft order. I would. Also, I really don't like Miami (after they handed OSU a national championship a decade ago, I've rooted for them to get the NCAAdeath penalty yearly).
Drink of Choice: Louisville represents the Commonwealth of Kentucky, home to my favorite alcohol, Maker's Mark. Pour yourself one neat and enjoy football at its best.
Buffalo Wild Wings Game: The Shane Morris Show
MICHIGAN vs K-State, 12/28, 10:15pm, ESPN
Quick Summary: Michigan finally gets to play, after several weeks of watching NotMichigan play NotMichigan. I'm masochistically still excited about this game, because we get to see Shane Morris with a full month of prep at quarterback. He's still a stud. This will also be Jeremy Gallon's final game at Michigan, so I hope he has roughly 500 receiving yards. Devin Gardner is still injured, and I hope like hell he heals up and comes back next year. He's quickly becoming one of my favorite Michigan players in recent memory. Please stay, Devin. Please.
Any Redemption? It's Michigan - this season, probably not - but this would go a long way in proving Michigan's midseason struggles on offense are behind them. I'm not sure K-State has much of a defense, so this is a great chance for Al Borges to keep his job (but my sources say he already has).
Drink of Choice: I already suggest bourbon, but I'm going to be hitting it hard for this one. Gonna be a nervous wreck. This is actually the last game before the NFL weekend, so look for more previews right after that.
That's all for now, folks - stay tuned for the post-NFL and pre-New Year's games! Plenty to hate on before the clock strikes midnight on 2013, so stay tuned. On a personal note, in a year where it's been tough to be a fan of the maize and blue at times, thanks for sticking with us - this blog, and its growing community, are one of the many reasons I'm thankful for this year. Cheers, Michigan Faithful!