Note: This is incredibly homeristic. But the beers are fantastic. I'm done predicting mediocre seasons. Even if it means I'm wrong. Everyone says 9-3 this year - well, bully to that.
CMU
Prediction: W, 30-13
Record: 1-0
Recommended Beer: Bell's Oberon - drink your summer beers while you can.
Offense takes it easy adjusting to game-speed with new system. Defense stifles a CMU offense that's much weaker than Michigan fans are used to seeing. A giveaway leads to a score in this one.
Akron
Prediction: W, 42-10
Record: 2-0
Recommended Beer: A session lager - the beer should flow with this one.
Terry Bowden's squad shows improvement from 1-11, but not much. I'll be watching this one on BTN with an open beer regardless of kickoff time.
ND
Prediction: W, 26-21
Record: 3-0
Recommended Beer: Bell's Two-Hearted. Fall is here, and what better way to warm up to a night game than Bells' best beer?
Michigan's obvious big hurdle. I have no idea who Notre Dame's quarterback is, but their defense is pretty good and they usually have a sixth-or-seventh year running back who can grind. This is the game on the schedule I'm most concerned about before Thanksgiving's showdown with the Bucks.
@UConn
Prediction: W, 17-13
Record: 4-0
Recommended Beer: Sam Adams' Oktoberfest. Let's give a shout to the kind-of-local Boston Brewing Company and another excellent edition of Oktoberfest.
This one's ugly. Really silly to give up a home game to a stadium seating 40,000, but hey, Connecticut is fertile recruiting soil, right? This seems like a clear case of building a record against the vaunted AAC.
Minnesota
Prediction: W, 35-17
Record: 5-0
Recommended Beer: Goose Island Harvest Ale - a nice, hoppy beer now that we're officially into fall.
In my world, Michigan's now 5-0 after a thumping of Minnesota. Hello, Brown Jug.
@Penn State
Prediction: L, 17-23
Record: 5-1
Recommended Beer: Lots and lots of Yuengling.
Yikes. I think Michigan drops an away game, and I think this one is it. Penn State is doing good things. I hope I'm wrong here - they could regress - but Happy Valley is still very tough to play. Obligatory plug to any traveling M fans - go get some Peachy (is it still called Paterno?) from the Creamery.
Indiana
Prediction: W, 38-21
Record: 6-1
Recommended Beer: Sierra Nevada Harvest Ale. A bit hoppy, but dark.
Michigan gets on track here with a solid win - this one isn't ever close.
@MSU
Prediction: W, 21-17
Record: 7-1
Recommended Beer: Bell's Sweet Potato Stout (if available) New Belgium Pumpkick if not. It's now November, and a Halloween beer or a stout seems appropriate for a cold game up in East Lansing.
I think Michigan pulls this one out. They're a better team, and despite being on the road, Michigan's defense eats whoever's under center for the Spartans alive.
Nebraska
Prediction: W, 31-28
Record: 8-1
Recommended Beer: Short's Good Humans (brown ale). Perfect for a cool fall Saturday.
This one's a shootout that could go either way but clearly I'm being a homer in these predictions.
@NWestern
Prediction: W, 27-24
Record: 9-1
Recommended Beer: Royal Oak Pappy's Porch Sippin Porter - we're getting dark here - and this sucker comes in cans.
Another shootout? Yep. Venric Mark is good at football and keeps this close or even puts the 'Cats in the lead with a long return.
@Iowa
Prediction: W, 23-21
Record: 10-1. Really? really.
Recommended Beer: The luckiest beer you can find. At a loss here.
I'm really torn here. I initially predicted a loss but then I remembered Iowa went 4-8 last year and doesn't have a QB either. Michigan tends to make heroes out of walk-on QBs (see: McGloin, Matt) but oh at this point whatever it's a win.
Ohio State
Prediction: W, 26-23
Record: 11-1
Recommended Beer: Bell's Winter White. Winter is upon us, and this is my favorite winter beer.
Yeah, I predicted a 11-1 season. Ohio State will be really good at this point and potentially shooting for an undefeated season. Michigan should have beaten them last year - if not for a few immature decisions and bad penalties the game was theirs. Plus I'll shell out over $200 for this game so they better win.
This would then mean Michigan goes to the Big Ten Championship Game, where I say they probably rematch with Ohio State. I honestly don't know what's going to happen. I think M goes 1-1 vs OSU this year, but if they somehow catch some lightning in a bottle I will be the happiest amount of happy. Aww, screw it. They win this and win the Big Ten. Third year coaching magic.
Final prediction: 12-1, Rose Bowl bound.
Or they could drop the MSU and OSU games and finish 9-3 and play in Florida on New Years' Day, but if I predict that and they go 12-1 I look like an asshole.