This Thursday the University of Michigan Wolverines will take on the Wofford College Terriers. The gift of being a high seed is playing a team nobody has ever heard of but the curse is feeling bad about hating the other team. After all, who can really root for the big bad B1G team to beat up on the cute little dog-themed mid major. Fortunately things like school history and information can give plenty of reasons to hate an innocent little team without feeling like a bully. So here are various facts about our next opponent; the Wofford Terriers.
- Wofford College is a small private school located in Spartanburg South Carolina. SPARTANburg. SPARTAN. If you felt bad about crushing a small school in the first round then just imagine the type of people in Spartanburg.
- The official motto of Wofford College is "Shines with untarnished honor." Just think about that, Wofford is built on looking down any school with tarnished honors *cough* banners hidden on North Campus *cough.* I'd say its our duty to punish such a school for their hubris.
- The official colors of Wofford College are Black and Old Gold. Oh sure, the school that was founded 37 years after Michigan has "Old" Gold, right. I'll just be over here wearing my Maize and "Ancient" Blue.
- Wofford College does not have an engineering college. They do not believe that Jordan Morgan's major is worth studying. If thats not a reason for a rage fueled double double, I don't know what is.
- Famous alumni include Danny Morrison and Jerry Richardson, President and Owner of the Carolina Panthers football team. The Carolina Panthers draft Ryan Van Bergen and then cut him. The Carolina Panthers tried to beat Tom Brady in a Super Bowl. Also, for Lions fans, the Carolina Panthers have been to a Super Bowl.
- Michael J. Copps, another alumni, served as commissioner for the FCC for 9 years. Don't like censorship? Then you don't like Wofford.
- William Preston Few was the first president of Duke AND a Wofford Alumni. Remember all those infuriating losses to Duke? Cause the Fab Five, Darius Morris, Nik Stauskas and pretty much every Michigan player ever do. Thanks Wofford. *I have been informed that the first TWO Duke presidents were Wofford alumns. Think of that what you will
- Wofford football has had success in football, most recently when they shared a championship with Appalachian State in 2010. If that doesn't tell you that this "underdog" needs to be taken seriously I don't know what will
- Wofford got into the tournament by winning their conference tournament, despite being third in their conference. Conference tournaments are just NCAA money grabs that steal glory away from the deserving regular season champs. Wofford and MSU be damned.
- Wofford went to the tourney in 2010. Michigan did not. Injustice
These facts should easily deter even the kindest soul from rooting for the arrogant, Duke causing, bid stealing Wofford Terriers so here are a few facts that will make you laugh at them.
- The University of Michigan has 2 Acres of land for every 1 Wofford student.
- The Wofford Football Stadium holds fewer people than Crisler Arena
- The University of Michigan has 1 student for every person in Spartanburg with enough left over to fill Yost... twice!
- Woffords mascot is a Terrier. Wolverines are better than terriers.