YFD Is a Child Of The Corn (Wheat)

Doug Pensinger

what a classic

every child is afraid
of the dark
the unknown
the nightmare in nebraska
that nightmare is in the corn
Maize n Brew's Children of the Corn
PRAISE BO

Did anyone actually see that movie? It looks f'ing creepy but it's actually hilarious if you watch it right after The Sandlot when you're 11 at a friend's for a sleepover. Then you watch the Tremors movies and you realize, decades later, how the drinking age should be 11. Or maybe you shouldn't have watched them at that point.

This is relevant because I am both scared by Bo Pelini and I feel like he yells a lot, and corn jokes! They're the best.

I like corn a lot, and I like corn-related alcohols a lot, so I'm not even gonna shit on 'em too much. As far as adds to our ILLUSTRIOUS POWER CONFERENCE go, Nebraska works. They have history. Fine, whatever. But they do make beer out there in Nebraska land, yessir. And politeness. Polite beer, really. I'm either blessed or stupid to have spent money on beer from all the Big Ten college towns without getting the mothership to refund me, but I have the sense it probably ain't happening. Oh well. Just don't expect a thank you in my acceptance speech for whatever sports blogging's Pulitzers are.

They've got Zipline Brewing out there, which is a great brewery. They do cool things out there with coffee in stouts and generally are quite good at barrel aging. But believe it or not, they have what some might consider to be an Oberon killer. Yes, it's blasphemous, and yes, it's untrue. But they do a really, really interesting hybrid seasonal of a saison and a wheat. It's got all the mellowness of a wheat with a little spice. It's called their Country Wheat. No corn involved, so I cant joke about it, but this is basically what happens if you commit heresy and mix (!!) a wheat and a pure saison. Spicy, smooth, mellow, not hoppy, nom.

It gets hot in the Midwest in the summer. Not a fun hot - the hot at 9pm when you've spent all day working outside picking or harvesting or building baseball fields in the corn. This beer is meant to be drunk when it's that kind of hot and you're sitting on your porch listening to the Cardinals on the radio with Luke Chandler running around the front yard telling the clouds to go away, secretly wishing the Spruills don't stir up some trouble before the harvest is over. And if you can bottle that feeling, I'll buy it every time.

Until next time, Cheers, Michigan Faithful!

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