There are just 65 Days Left Till Kick-off, but we're running a little behind on the Countdown. So with 66 Days Left, we'll double up the countdown until we get caught up! So, here's #86 and #85 in our continuing Series of 100 Days to Football and 100 Reasons to Love Ann Arbor.

#86 - Red Hawk Bar & Grill

Grad Student Chicks Dig it. via farm1.static.flickr.com

The Red Hawk is one of those places on campus that seems to have just enough class to make it an awesome third date spot when you're looking to score, but doesn't really help. Maybe that was just me. In all seriousness, the Red Hawk has an excellent menu and a top notch draught beer list. Even when you weren't trying to use it as an dating device, it was a great place to grab a drink or a bite with some friends. It still is, and that's why it's #86 on our Countdown and Reason #86 to Love Ann Arbor.

#85 - The Naked Mile

Chubby people without clothes, running. No, it's not pretty. via www.pub.umich.edu

I got a bunch of emails about this one, so into the Countdown it goes. At every University there's a tradition that won't die the death it so richly deserves. At Michigan, that tradition is the Naked Mile. Apparently begun in 1986, the Naked Mile involves graduating Seniors running through campus naked on the evening of the last day of classes. Everyone gets loaded. A bunch of pervs with cameras show up. Some dude and some girl inevitably stumble and fall in their stupor, scratching up (and for one unfortunately soul, off) their respective baby making parts. No matter. People do it every year. Also a result it's turned into a rather celebrated excuse to throw a party. A party in the spring (sometimes, it's usually cold as hell)? I guess it's not all bad, so it's #85 in our Countdown and Reason #85 to Love Ann Arbor.

If you've got suggestions on places you'd like to see, email me with a photo or a description and we'll get your favorite hangouts in the countdown as well.

The Countdown Returns! - A special thanks to all the readers who have emailed me regarding my disappearing act mid-June. I must admit I was surprised by the favorable response to 100 Days Till Football and 100 Reasons to Love Ann Arbor. So my apologies for letting it, and myself, fall off the map.  I'm currently about twenty days behind in the Countdown, so over the next week or so I'm going to try to double up the days and locations. So today I present 72 days to football and reasons 92 and 91 to fall in love with Ann Arbor. It'll all make sense once I'm caught up. Promise!

72 Days till Football and Reasons #92 and #91 to Love Ann Arbor

#92 in our continuing Series of 100 Days to Football and 100 Reasons to Love Ann Arbor

#92 - Oosterbaan Field House

In all its years of service, Oosterbaan Field House has seen everything from Championship football teams, to the birth of soccer programs, to hosting IM competitions. If you played varsity field sports, or even played them just for fun, you probably set foot in Oosterbaan.  It is also the home field for Michigan's national champion club Lacrosse Team (see below!). So in honor of the Lacrosse team's victory, #92 in the Countdown is Oosterbaan Field House and reason #92 to Fall in love with Ann Arbor!

#91 in our continuing Series of 100 Days to Football and 100 Reasons to Love Ann Arbor

#91 - The University of Michigan Museum of Art

Small, yet powerful. via www.tfaoi.com

The ultimate cheap date, I'm-deeper-than-I-appear, stop for the artist in you. Housing art from the American revolution, to provincial France, to the Far East, the UMMA is one of the deepest and most diverse collections of art housed by any university in the country. Situated in Alumni Memorial Hall, UMMA has been open at this location since 1946. The building itself dates back to 1910 and was constructed as a tribute to University of Michigan graduates who died or were wounded in the Civil War, the Mexican-American War, and the Spanish-American War. A significant house for significant works of art, and reason #91 to fall in love with Ann Arbor.

Welcome Back Johnny - If you haven't noticed, Johnny from RBUAS is back. Well, back in the sense that he posted something for the first time since November 2007. Stick around for a while John. Kick of your shoes. Get comfy. Write some more. We don't want to have to go all Misery on you.

Notre Dame Wins Staring Contest Against NBC - A season after going 3-9, posting NCAA record marks for offensive futility, and still retaining Charles Weis as their head Coach, Notre Dame was rewarded with a five-year extension of its contract with NBC to televise Notre Dame football home games, running from 2011 to 2015. The South Bend Tribune politely used the word "coax" when describing how things went down. Realistically though, the deal makes sense for both schools. Notre Dame can't be that bad again. It's simply not possible with the influx of talent coming to South Bend. The SBT also points out Notre Dame's upcoming prime time contests and travel games to "neutral site" areas where ND will be the home team as rationales for NBC picking up the option.

Speaking of TV, I Finally Get the Big Ten Network. Woo! - Comcast and TBTN finally reached an agreement. Woo. Now I can watch water polo!

Men's Varsity Club Lacrosse Wins National Championship

A belated, yet frosty cold one is raised to the University of Michigan's Varsity Club Lacrosse Team who hoisted their first National Championship in the Men's Collegiate Lacrosse Association (MCLA) the governing body for club-varsity lacrosse in the US. The team also became the first squad in MCLA history to win the National Championship and finish the season with a perfect record. Michigan was 20-0 (7-0) this season, winning both their conference (by crushing Michigan State 21-5) and National Championship (beating Chapman 14-11 in Texas Stadium). The team was lead by senior captians Brekan Kohlitz and Graham Townsend, as well as freshman scoring sensation Trevor Yealy.

Congrats to the Lacrosse team on an outstanding year!

Both Photos via Cecil Copeland and Dave Adams www.umich.edu

Apparently Detroit Too Close, Belien Goes Continental to Sign German Wing - According the the Ann Arbor News, Michigan Basketball head coach John Beliein has filled out his 2008-2009 recruiting class by adding 6'10" German prodigy Robin Benzing. UM Hoops put together an excellent google-stalking of Michigan's latest recruit, who apparently can shoot from the outside but can't do so much around the rim. Benzing has drawn some comparisons to fellow German Dirk Nowitzki, I'm sure largely because he is tall and German.

Beilein in Europe (via farm3.static.flickr.com)

With the 2008-2009 recruiting classes pretty much set state-side, Beilein drifted to the other side of the pond to recruit Benzing. Apparently Benzing had his eye on playing US college ball for some time and his size and shooting appear to fit Beilein's system to a tee. Defensively? Meh. No one's going to replace Udoh. When one of the first things you see on someone's defensive resume is "good at taking charges," you know you're not getting a physical presence. Still, he's reportedly a good enough offensive player to warrant some excitement. So "woo!"

Rich Rod says Freshman Will Play this Year - Rich, we kinda figured.

Cris Carter Will Take You Out Right Here - Why Cris. I'm flattered. But I don't swing that way. Oh. Never mind, you meant "hit" me. Oh. Okay. Well in that case you're apparently 12 years old and living in a perpetual playground where you're the boss of the swings. Good for you.

Carter has his knickers all in a bunch because "Some Michigan Blog said I was an asshole. Better nobody say that to my face." Aside from the fun we can have with Carter's misuse of the English language, we can only marvel at the thin skin of a man who used to play professional football. Cris, I've got new for you, you've been called much, much worse on any Sunday when you played against Green Bay, Detroit or Chicago.

Additionally, for a man with a seemingly decent bank account, you are sadly misinformed as to the litigious nature of our society. While away from the swings and the sandbox you also seem to believe you live in a place where punch someone in face for a written word is smiled upon. “You damn well better not of, ’cause if you had, I’d take you out right here.” Even if  Will Leitch had written what you have now confirmed to be true, would "taking him out" have disproved his point? Further, "taking him out" would also merit your arrest and corresponding civil suit by any number of successful, eager, non-Minnesota based attorneys.  One punch is an expensive proposition in our country, Mr. Carter.

So, please leave the sandbox and rejoin the rest of us in the real world. On the other hand, if you meant "take you out right here" in the context of buying him dinner in an effort to prove to him you are in fact a nice guy, then please disregard my comments.

ESPN's BCS at 10 - The folks over at ESPN have a look back at some of the highlights for the Big Ten over the life of the BCS. Worth a look. All the Wisconsin teams are rated too high, the 2002 Iowa team is not given nearly enough credit, and how Drew Brees ranks as the 2nd best player in Big Ten BCS history is beyond me.

For the record, there ain't a whole lot going on, so please excuse the rather abbreviated Happy Hour. On the plus side, actual content is on its way. Over the next few weeks I've arranged some Q&A sessions to shed some light on Michigan's upcoming football schedule! More on that soon. But for now, here's what happened over the weekend.

Softball Wins Regional Crown, Advances to Super Regional - Kudos to the Women's softball team for their weekend Regional triumphs over Wright State, Notre Dame and Kent State. The ladies put up 23 runs in 3 games and allowed only five runs on the weekend (all against Wright State in Michigan's 13-5 shellacking of the Wright State, um... whatevertheyares).

The team advances to the NCAA Super Regional where they will host Virginia Tech in a best of three series to determine who goes to the College Womens' World Series in Oklahoma. First pitch is at noon EST on Saturday. Ticket information can be found here. Come on folks, if you're in town on Saturday and Sunday, it's between $7 and $8 to cheer on the Softball team. Get out there!

Special congratulations to Marley Powers who went 2-3 with 2 HRs and 7 RBI over the weekend. That is officially insane.

"Tradition" Restored, #1 Jersey Issue Straightened Out - Apparently Braylon is happy again. While taking an off season break to play in the “Champions for Children’s Hearts” celebrity golf tournament, it appears Braylon Edwards had the chance to talk jerseys with Rick Rodriguez. His comments afterwards? "Everything has been taken care of." (HT: Detroit News). Good news. While I was somewhat indifferent to the "OMG Tradition!" panic that seemed to hit when Braylon started barking a couple weeks ago, the fact that a major benefactor and one of the NFL's elite receivers was pissed at the school was not lost on me. Still, like MGoBlog, I wasn't up in arms about the "tradition" that was being interrupted. However, as things seem to when given time and as little hype as possible, the situation resolved amicably and those waiving the "Ha Ha, RichRod Will Destroy You From The Inside!" banner must now pack their flag away. At least until the next meaningless controversy finds space in the papers.

Speaking of Receivers, Michigan Nabs Top Minnesota Wideout - w00t! Bryce McNeal commits to Michigan. Commit #8 for the 2009 class. Google stalking at Mgoblog.

In Addition To Their Third Straight Big Ten Crown, Baseball Sets Record - In the course of dominating the conference Michigan's Baseball team set a new record for Big Ten wins in a season with 25. Congrats to the team on both a well earned title and a the record. Michigan's first game in the Big Ten Baseball Tournament is Thursday, May 22, at 7:05pm.

It's 9am? So what? Pull up a chair. It's Happy Hour!

• Michigan races to Third Quarter Lead in EDSBS/Fanblogs Charity Bowl!   Way to go Michigan fans! Big Blue currently sits first in the overall standings with $2,985.00 in donations, $685.00 in front of rival and second place challenger OHIO STATE. Come on Michigan fans. No more fourth quarter collapses. This is one game where Michigan can and should pull out a well earned, nay, donated victory. Today is the last day for donations, so make 'em count. As an added twist, all of today's donations can either be counted toward your school's final total or AGAINST your rival's total (or anyone else's for that matter). Orson's got the total at approximately $11,000 raised. Lets do our part to smash $20,000 and help some people that desperately need it. Here are the details for your donations.
  

1) Make a donation online to the American Red Cross, CARE, or the International Rescue Committee.

2) Email the donation confirmation to kevin@fanblogs.com and state your team affiliation by 8pm EDT on Wednesday, May 14th. BE SURE TO STATE WHETHER YOUR DONATION GOES FOR YOUR TEAM OR AGAINST ANOTHER. Either way it counts, but we want you to have some fun with it, too.

3) Results will be displayed at Every Day Should Be Saturday and Fanblogs throughout the week, with the final results shown by Thursday, May 15th.

4) The winning school will have its colors displayed at EDSBS and logo/mascot shown on every page at Fanblogs.

Mondo important reminder: ALL DONATIONS MUST BE IN TO FANBLOGS BY 8PM EDT (5PM PDT) TONIGHT.

• A hardy thank you to the Adam Rose of the LA Times for linking my piece on the OJ Mayo situation and endorsing my proposed disciplinary recommendations should the NCAA ever awake from its cash induced slumber. Gentlemen, you're welcome to link here any day. (Massive HT: Conquest Chronicles).
• Jimmy Tressel doesn't like it when you start swiping recruits out of his back yard. Yesterday Tressel landed 5-11 wideout James Jackson, Michigan's Division 1 100-meter state champion who won the thing with a blazing time of 10.94 seconds. Um. That's bad. Michigan was in hot pursuit, but came up short on the 4 star, Rivals 250 member. Touche' sweatervest. Touche.
  
• My condolences to Doug of Hey Jenny Slater on the loss of the love of his life. Sadly, insanely hot French Newscaster Melissa Theuriau went and got herself hitched over the weekend. Doug is now living in semi-seclusion in Northern Quebec. However, in sadness there is opportunity. Ladies. I'm talking directly to you. It's not everyday that the Chancellor of the Sexchequer puts his heart back on the open market.
• From condolences to congratulations, Michigan Football Saturdays turned two years old this past Sunday. My sincere congratulations to MFS, as it turns out some of the best Michigancentric research, analysis and insight in the blogosphere. Congrats on the birthday! Keep up the great work.
  
• The venerable UMTailgate.com is getting a facelift. I'll be looking forward to the (proposed) Memorial Day relaunch guys. Keep us posted.
• Finally, I put out a call for photos and you guys answered with some amazing Fanshots! Keep 'em coming! I'm especially interested to see if anyone's got photos of this year's baseball and softball teams as they both head into post season play. If you haven't posted a Fanshot yet, it's easy, all you have to do is click on the "New Fanshot" button on the left, type in the Title for what you're posting, Click on Image or Video (for You Tubes), add a tag or two (Michigan football, Mike Hart, Michigan stadium, Maize n Brew, Uncle Larry, whatever!), and hit post. It's that simple. If all goes according to plan, we'll have a sortable image and photo vault for everyone to share and enjoy. Thanks again to everyone who's submitted images and to all of you who will soon!

At Michigan, it's hard to wag the condescending finger at anyone for NCAA Rules violations. Anyone in Maize & Blue attempting to cop a holier than thou attitude about the recent allegations that O.J. Mayo accepted thousands of dollars from a basketball tournament organizer, needs a serious reality check. Face it folks, Michigan set the bar for basketball corruption. Imagine that, something in basketball we're actually better at than Michigan State.

Even if Mayo took the $30,000.00 that ESPN is alleging he pocketed prior to and during his year at USC, that pales in comparison to the reported $616,000.00 in loans made by the now deceased, car dealer Ed Martin to Michigan basketball players Chris Webber, Robert Traylor, Maurice Taylor and Louis Bullock, in violation of NCAA rules. Before anyone gets all huffy about 30Gs in cash and prizes, think about that, and remember all calls for the death penalty or other sanctions must be measured against the punishment that Michigan received.

And if Michigan didn't receive the death penalty for over half a million dollars in loans and payments to players, really, what can you do to USC? $616,000.00 in loans gets you the following:

• Forfeiting all games won while the four players were ineligible, including the 1992 and 1993 Final Fours, the entire 1992–93 season, and all the seasons from fall 1995 through spring of 1999. The University has removed four championship banners that were hanging in Crisler Arena, and will excise mention of any victories from all programs and written materials

• Repaying to the NCAA about $450,000 the University received for postseason play with those ineligible players

• Declaring the men’s basketball team ineligible to participate in the 2003 NCAA Division I Men’s Basketball Championship Tournament, as well as the 2003 National Invitational Tournament

• Placing the basketball program on probation for two years, during which time the president will supervise detailed reports on compliance to be made to the NCAA Athletic Director Bill Martin said the current investigation, conducted jointly with the NCAA, involved additional interviews with former Athletic Department staff, coaches and assistant coaches.

So by these standards, USC should forfeit its wins for this past season, lose a scholarship, be post-season ineligible for next season, and be on probation for two years. MAX. Before people get all huffy about what USC could've or should've known, look at how things went down.

Mayo received approximately $30,000.00 over the course of four years from his agent/friend/lamprey/whatever. That's $7,500.00 a year, if averaged out. Oh no. Stop the presses. Even assuming he received two-thirds of that money during his freshman year at USC, and that's being generous (I'm guessing Mayo probably took about $15,000.00 of that $30,000.00 at USC), how in the hell was USC supposed to do anything about it. The Inside the Lines piece details the lengths the agent went to in order to keep things off the NCAA's radar, wiring money to Mayo's family in West Virginia and Ohio. Even if USC checked into where the money was coming from, they'd get the answer Mayo's associates and Mayo intended, "It came from family."

Further, $15,000.00 over the course of a year isn't that much money when you consider where Mayo was going to school. USC is ungodly expensive and the kids who go there aren't exactly hurting for cash. Yes, I'm painting with a broad brush here but I've had some experience with USC and its students, so I don't think I'm too far off. At the premier private college in California, in a city where image is everything, buying new clothes and having a fancy TV aren't out of the ordinary. One last point on the issue of  "they should've known." How much do you think a kid like Mayo eats? Seriously. I look at my family's bills at the end of the month and a disproportionate amount of that goes to food. And I'm 31. When I was in my teens and playing sports every day my mother put a pad lock on cupboard so we'd have something left in the kitchen for dinner. Even though the receipts showed cell phone bills and clothing, I'll wager a great deal of the money Mayo took went straight to his stomach.

What about how poor Mayo's family was? What about the single mom aspect? Shouldn't that raise eyebrows that he was in nice clothes and had a TV? Give me a bleeping break. Oh no. Poor kid has something nice. Something's wrong! If you listen to Pat Forde, it all lines up :

According to Floyd, Mayo was raised by a single mother who didn't have the money to pay a big cell phone bill -- which ostensibly is why Guillory discouraged Floyd from calling him during his recruitment. Floyd also said the kid "doesn't have anything" materially.

Despite that, the USC coach apparently never got around to wondering how the poor child from Huntington, W.Va., could afford the expensive clothes on his back or the expensive shoes on his feet. How about the flat-screen TV in his dorm? That never set off an alarm? If the answer is that USC coaches or compliance workers never set foot in Mayo's dorm room … why the hell not?

Please read the above for most of my answer to this. Secondly, if Mayo was so damn poor how was he going to elite basketball camps each summer and financing new clothes or shoes (you know, I hear basketball players need more than a single pair of shoes) before he got to USC. It wasn't like he was walking about in a burlap sack before college. Another thing that seems to be forgotten is this kid was an NBA bound prodigy before he got to SC. I don't think he was worried about paying his credit card bill at the end of the year. Would it be so out of the ordinary that a college kid ran up a big credit card bill or perhaps misused some of his student loans? Nah. That never happens. No one's ever done anything stupid like that. That would never happen in the regular student population. Finally, Forde answers his own question about the cell phone bill, Guillory didn't hand out a cell number because that would've ceded control over Mayo not because it would've tipped anything off. The over simplification of the accusations here is just staggering.

I'm sorry, but all the righteous indignation over this is sickening. Everyone suspected Mayo was on the take, but everything he did at SC lead people to believe he wasn't. Hell, OTL reported at the end of their piece that Mayo's character was a major reason he was moving up the draft boards. Mayo even had the previously skeptical Conquest Chronicles singing his praises prior to this.

The point of this is not to excuse Mayo for his conduct. If he was pulling the wool over everyone's eyes, then yeah, he deserves to be called on it. But given the NCAA's inability to do anything about the Reggie Bush fiasco, what do you think they'll be able to do about Mayo? That's what I thought.

My hope out of all of this is that the NCAA does a thorough investigation to determine whether there was any institutional culpability with this nonsense. From what I've gathered about this, Mayo was fairly low key about any money he received and kept it fairly low profile. If people have information to the contrary, please share it. But if we take the primary assumption that Mayo was not Tractor Traylor, and was not rollin' on crome dubs in a fuscia suburban leased to his "aunt," then its going to be hard to show USC was willfully turning a blind eye the way Michigan did during the Ed Martin years.

The real issue is USC's failure to deal with Guillory, a known entity who's previously gotten USC in hot water. He never should've been allowed anywhere near the program, but was sitting front row for games. THAT is the issue. All the nonsense about "Lookit the poor Kid!" is absolute crap. By all accounts, Mayo covered his tracks fairly well. It is Guillory's presence and involvement in the program that should've raised eyebrows and didn't.

There were signs things were wrong. But there were also signs things were fine. So before people start calling for a program to get the axe and for the heads of the responsible parties lets take a second and think back to what a real scandal looks like. Let's then realize this is just a drop in the bucket in comparison.

Let's get through this self-congratulatory chest thumping and move on.

One of the coolest aspects of the new Maize n Brew is the new Fanshots feature. As you can see in the right sidebar, you, the reader, can post, upload or link your favorite Michigan videos and photos for everyone to see. If you've got a great photo of you with Bo, post it. If you've got a kickass You Tube of Manningham torching Ambrose Wooden, post it. Some cool recruiting video? Get that up now! If you've got a photo of your buddy passed out at the tailgate covered in beer cans, what the hell, post it.

All you have to do is click on Post Fanshots in the left hand sidebar, and you're off. If you've got a photo, click on images. If you've got video, click on video. It's pretty straight forward. Have some fun with it. Heck, if you've got a list of things that irritate you about Ohio State, you can even do that!

I'm really excited about these new features and I hope it will allow all of us at Maize n Brew to build a great library of Michigan photos and videos, and involve you much more than we've been able to in the past. So, for a start, enjoy Charles Woodson's spectacular 1997 interception against Michigan State as our first Fanshot.

Changes are comin' folks. SB Nation's transition to its new blogging platform has hit high gear and many of its college sites will be making the transition this week. This is especially exciting because Maize n Brew gets its facelift tonight. As Kyle has pointed out, Rocky Top Talk has been previewing some of the new features of the new platform. I highly encourage you to head over to Rocky Top Talk to check it out. But if you're not so inclined, trust me. The new platform is awesome.

Not only have the Reader features been upgraded considerably, things like "FanShots" will replace the Diary Section (and be substantially easier to post for you, the reader), but you'll be able to access scores and similar information on other blogs with the click of a finger. However, I would venture a guess that perhaps the biggest difference the new platform will make is with me, your humble blogger. The posting mechanism I now have is now superior to anything I've seen, anywhere.

This is big of two reasons. 1) I absolutely suck at HTML. Any cool graphs or pictures or other interesting techy things? Stolen. Right Click. View Source. Steal. Steal. Steal. I have next to no HTML ability, but the new platform will allow me to make graphs, tables, and link with ease. I usually waste between 30 minutes to an hour fumbling with links and HTML screwups that delay or kill posts all together. The new platform erases those problems. It's a god send. I'd hug the guys that created it if I could, but I suspect they'd probably prefer a handshake. Whatever. Being married has softened me somewhat. 2) The new posting gizmo also has all the littel tihngs liek spell cecker, which is huge for a guy like me whotendsto tyep faster than he tinks. The Posts will come out clearer and look less like they were scribbled on a napkin by a four year old, in crayon.

So really it's win win for everyone.

Once the move is complete, and you'll know the move has happened because the site will look more like this, except not in vomit orange (j/k Pete), site members will need to claim their network-wide screen names. You're in there, so don't worry, you just need to confirm a few things. Once you're in, you'll be able to post FanShots and explore the Plethora (yeeeees, El Jefe) of new features including Michigan's rosters, schedules and statistics! Not too shabby, eh?

I'm really excited about the move and really believe it's a great step forward for this wonderful network and a giant leap for Maize n Brew.

Moon landing = Site upgrade? What the hell, I'll stand by it.

This will be the last of my Golden Domed nonsense before getting back to my irrational loathing of the basketball team's mismanagement, weeping uncontrollably over the state of the quarterback position, and wondering why Jim Carty took a belated swing at Carr.

But I had to post this. A hardy HT to my wife and KM. I give you Notre Dame's 2005 Student Body presidential campaign. Do not watch while eating. Happy Monday.

"Call On Me performed by the Marra Harig Freedom Dancers during the 2005 Student Body presidential campaign at Notre Dame"

"I am never forgetting the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky. In one word he told me secret of success in [blogging]: Plagiarize!" *

Plagiarize. Plagiarize. Plagiarize.

Stuff Golden Domed People Like

Telling You How Hard it was to Get into Notre Dame: Did you have any idea how hard it was to get into Notre Dame? Spend ten minutes at a Notre Dame event and you will. Every Golden Domed person knows about that girl/guy didn't make it into Notre Dame. He/she who spent his/her high school years maintaining a 3.7 GPA, captaining the volleyball/tennis team, feeding the homeless, drafting a workable flat tax, and driving the snakes out of Ireland. He/she didn't make it into Notre Dame. No one knows what happened to him/her. But he/she didn't make it in. Man. And if you look at the admissions standards now, I wouldn't make it in. Wow. Did I mention how hard it was to get in?

Tailgating: Dear holy God. If there's a single aspect of football even the SEC types can learn something about from Golden Domed people it's tailgating. Now before you get all up in arms Gator/Tiger/Wombat/whatever fans, you need to calm down and recognize the facts. Golden Domed People take their tailgating seriously. They set up tailgate kitchens that cover multiple parking spots and compare favorably to a culinary school. Deep fryers. Roasters. Keg-o-rators. Flat screens. Gas Burners. Flat grills. Full bars. Lobster claw omelets. Drinking Kraft Turkey Gravy. More tents than an REI. Drinking a cascade of solo cups full of delicious beer. It's beautiful.

Sure every team's out their share of wealthy/stupid alumni that spent their bonus check/retirement account on a pimped out tailgating bus that makes John Madden sob in his blue, football printed onezie, but the sheer number of tailgating machines in South Bend on game day is staggering. It's even more staggering when you consider Notre Dame's student population is less than half, sometimes three-quarters less than whatever State/Directional/Dead Guy University/College you went to.

As impressive as it is, sometimes they take things a little too far. And you know what happens then...

Losing to Boston College: Traditions evolve over time. One of the new Golden Domed People's evolving traditions is losing to Boston College. In the battle for whom Jesus loves best Golden Domed People have too often come out on the short end of the proverbial bag of silver. The Golden Domed People haven't beaten the Eagles since Eisenhower was president. That part's not true, but Golden Domed People are 0 for 5 against BC since 2001. In the manner in Jesus taught, they have turned the other cheek on this losing streak. The problem is they've continued to turn the rest of their bodies, take their football and walk away from the rivalry, putting BC on notice that their brand o' Catholicism wouldn't see the field at Notre Dame Stadium after 2010. As with all "holy wars" there are many fronts and many ways for Notre Dame to lose to BC. The most recent was a 4-1 loss to those bastards from Boston in the NCAA men's hockey Championship. Over the next few years look for Notre Dame to develop new sports and new methods to torture their fans with inexplicable last second losses to a University with a high school stadium.

Sticking to the Floor: It's not a "bar" at Norte Dame if the floor of said "bar" isn't covered in an adhesive substance strong enough to hold heat resistant paneling on the space shuttle. No matter the bar at Notre Dame, be it the 'Backer or Club 21 or the previously sunken Boat Club, your shoes must be coated in Teflon to keep from being ripped off you feet by the vice grip of the ground. Some fool ince wore flip flops out. They call her "Nubbins" now.

Irony: Priceless. Simply Priceless.

Loving the Dorms: Dorm life is a central part of the Golden Domed People's culture. If you sit with a group of Golden Domed People for five minutes, invariably the conversation will turn to what hall they lived in, what hall sports teams they didn't make the cut for, and how awesome the parties were at Fisher, Dillon, Carroll, etc... It doesn't stop after freshman year either. They live there for all five years. They'll fight tooth and nail to live in the dorms one more year. The fact that the surrounding town was used as the backdrop for the filming of "The Grapes of Wrath" and "Training Day" might have something to do with it.

Flip Cup: There are numerous annoying tendencies Golden Domed people share, but their affection for the drinking game "flip cup" is at the top of the list. Flip Cup is a staple in all abuse of alcohol in South Bend. Golden Domed people take it seriously. There are teams, rankings, and playoff schedules. Only Notre Dame could screw up drinking. Back in my day we simply played "Drink the Beer." If you won, you got another beer. When did flipping a plastic cup become a part of drinking? Walk by any Golden Domed Person's tailgate, party, Tuesday in the library. Flip Cup. On the plus side, bringing small bag of plastic cups and suggesting to Golden Domed People that you play flip cup will result in free beer.

Chicago: Just like monkeys in Brazil, Golden Domed People are drawn to large municipalities. Chicago in particularly. Every graduate of Notre Dame is required as a condition of admission to be either from Chicago or live there for a minimum period of five years post graduation. Walking around the streets of Chicago you can't throw a hot dog at Wrigley Field without getting some mustard on a Golden Domed Person's dirty baseball cap.

Admission Requirement

Reliving the Past: Golden Domed People love the past. They love talking about the past. They love believing it's relevant. The 1940's kicked ass. Did you know seven Golden Domed People have won the Heisman? Rudy? Echoes? 1988? Anyone? Nothing will endear you to a Golden Domed Person quicker than referring to the "Gipper" or "the Rock" even if you have no idea what those things mean. An important note, do not talk about the present. Under no circumstances should you mention that Golden Domed People have lost their last 9 bowl games. The present has no business in present. Speak only of the past.

Pretending to Care About Sports Other Than Football: Golden Domed People care only about one thing: football. However, due to Title IX and other communist activity in the 1960's, Notre Dame was forced to add additional sports that were not football. Golden Domed People have grown to accept these other sports as a necessary accessory to the football program but little else. Despite this they will feign interest in these other sports to outsiders. They will tell you how great the basketball/hockey/baseball/women's water polo team is at the drop of the a hat. Some of them may even know where the basketball/hockey/baseball stadium is. But don't press for too much information, Golden Domed People don't know much about their other teams past two names.

Money: Money is one of the hallmarks of the Golden Domed People as a whole. Notre Dame itself has an endowment that would make the Sultan of Brunei envious. $100 million for a new building? No problem. Reroute the main street the runs parallel to the football stadium without state funding? Ha! State funding. That's a good one. The bathrooms in the administrative building features toilet paper made out of fifties and bottled water to wash your hands? Why bottled water? Because it costs more.

Returning to Glory: 3-9 last year? Kiss my ass. Notre Dame's winning the national championship this year.

* For those of you old enough to remember, the great humorist Tom Lehrer, once performed a song about the Russian mathematician Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky. In it, he sums up how we, the noble blogger, provide you with humor and wasted work hours.

Plagiarize,
Let no one else's work evade your eyes,
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes,
So don't shade your eyes,
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize...
Only be sure always to call it please, 'research'."