Your Favorite Michigan Bloggers as Your Favorite Players

In the free moments between being screamed at or screaming at someone this past month, a few Michigan and internets related thoughts managed to creep into my head which I adeptly stored until time allowed their release. One of those ideas was to catalog the locust like swarm of Michigan Blogs that have popped up over the last year. It's gotten to the point that the only thing more common than a new Michigan blog popping up is another Bengals arrest report being filed.

As the idea grew, I started matching the blogs to current Michigan players. Because there are so many players, blogs and jokes that fit this idea I thought I'd share it with you.

So Behold! The starting lineup of your Michigan Blog-o-rines!

Head Coach: Lloyd Carr/i Blog for Cookies - Grumble, grumble. Scotch. Fucking Tressel. Grumble, grumble. Like Lloyd, Vijay doesn't take kindly to people poking at him or his football team. Also like Lloyd, Vijay is a reservoir of football and Michigan related knowledge.  

RB: Mike Hart/MGoBlog - The engine that drives the Michigan blogosphere, and to some extent the blogosphere in general. Michigan's offense and blogosphere is horribly limited without him. But even at half-strength, MSU fans, he can can carry the team to victory on sheer will. Just like Hart, Brian grinds out recruiting reports and Upon Further Review, picking up the tough yards and tasks the rest of us simply aren't willing to do. However, Brian's also capable of the dazzling, game sealing run. Whether it was 11 Swans or the 3rd Down Conversion Charts, he's the player/blogger Michigan fans can't be without. Plus, Brian can be ornery and crotchety as hell when properly irritated. He'll talk a little smack in the post game press conference when he's pissed just to remind you, you ungrateful bastards, he's coming for you.

WR: Mario Manningham/RBUAS - Michigan's homerun hitter, the pure deep threat. Johnny's work at RBUAS is the very definition of the 40 yard diving touchdown grab. It doesn't come nearly as often as we'd like, but when it does it's something to savor and watch over and over again on the DVR. Much like Manningham, Johnny is prone long absences, whether due to injury or job/school constraints. However, when he's on the field, you've gotta watch him.

WR: Greg Matthews/Autumn Thunder - Brand spanking new. Not even a full season under its belt but showing a load of promise. Irreverent stuff. Could be the next big thing, could be second fiddle, could fizzle out. One thing's for sure, has potential.

LT: Jake Long/Straight Banging - A passion for Michigan and a snarl to back it up. Whether he's berating Notre Dame fans for being arrogant or Ohio State fans for being, well, Ohio State fans, Joey takes defending his backfield seriously. And he's damn good at it. Like Jake Long, Joey's Michigan related pieces are generally All-American work. Like long he can get a little side tracked from time to time (e.g., Joey's despise for Lloyd).  However, without Joey's voice or Long's presence, the Michigan offense and blogosphere is reduced substantially. With it, you ain't gettin in our backfield.

RG: Justin Boren/Michigan Football Saturdays - Both have a full year under their belt and a lot is expected out of both. Both have been excellent thus far. MFS has managed to stay on target with football related news and stories all summer when the rest of us are struggling for content.  A solid, steady contributor to the Michigan blogosphere.

QB: Chad Henne/Michigan Sports Center - Direct. Effective. Consistent. These three traits were Chad Henne's calling card last year and they've been Sean's since he took his first snap over at MSC. Sean tracks every Michigan sport and does it well. He'll dink and dunk you with his coverage of non-revenue sports, and wow you with long bombs like interviews with Zoltan the Inconceivable and Jim Carty. Just like Henne, Sean's a young man ready to make the next big jump to something big.

P: Zoltan Mesko/House That Yost Built - How do you fit a mostly hockey blog into a football post? You make him a kicker! Hockey players and kickers are all ferriners anyway. Yost Built is not only your home for all Michigan hockey related gossip and analysis, but an excellent source of insight into the football program.

DT: Terrence Taylor/The M Zone - Big. Nasty. Damn, damn good. The Anchor of the Michigan defensive line this season. Had Branch stuck around, The M Zone would be Branch, but he's gone, so Taylor it is. Vicious and funny. Capable of moving like lightning to pummel any unwitting commentator dumb enough to cross them, the guys at M Zone are the first line of defense when people cross the Michigan fan base. Like Taylor, who obviously has never missed a buffet in his life, they're not afraid to indulge in the simpler pleasures of life from time to time. Whether it's beer bong Friday or the Coed BCS, the M Zone will put on their bib and dive right into the irreverence buffet face first. Just keep in mind, no matter how nice and cuddly they seem at the buffet table, the second football season starts they'll trample their own grandmothers to get at your quarterback.

DB: Johnny Sears/Westside Rider - Michigan's Cali connection. Kenny does an excellent job covering the west coast reaction to all things Michigan. Despite being 200 miles away, Kenny manages to keep up with everything and deliver some big hits of his own.

LB: Chris Harris/UM Tailgate - Seemingly around forever, but always making a solid contribution.

The Band: The Michigan Marching Band/Hoover Street Rag - Duh!

The Press: Varsity Blue - Because they are actually, well, press.

The Stadium: Stadium and Main - Kinda self explanatory.

To anyone I missed, my apologies, more to follow. However, for now, there is work to be done.