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We Are Coming to You Live from Ann Arbor!

Great news: I AM DRUNK!

It's OSU week and all the anxiety; all the excitement; all the vitriol; all the love; all the Buck-the-Fuckeyes, make-or-break-a-season, win-or-lose-please-don't-shank-me-in-the-shower insanity is flowing like a mighty stream. It's really a deluge. There have been drinking games, turn-back-the-clock acts of senseless vandalism in some random fraternity house (long story), 100 copies of Playboy strewn about some kid's room (longer story), spontaneous chants in the streets, angry trash talking. Basically, it's been College Plus, and all because the Michigan faithful have taken to the streets and the bars with a somewhat exciting, somewhat frightening sense of desperation.

Michigan has to win this game today. Maybe the world will continue to rotate, and maybe Phil Fulmer will continue to start each day off right with 720 pieces of fried pork innards, but you get what I mean. Michigan's had a disappointing season relative to its talent and its resources. And most importantly, relative to its competitors. National powers like Miami and USC and LSU and OSU have thrived; others, like Notre Dame and PSU and Alabama have returned to stake their claims to relevancy. Michigan? It has been belittled as one of the season's biggest disappointments; it has lost twice at home; it has failed against Weis; and it heads into the most important recruiting weekend of the season seemingly assured that it is mostly just getting free tickets to a cool football game for the Tim Tebows of the world. There is now a sudden urgency that comes each week with the specter of Michigan's prestige slipping while those of its rivals rise. Not to get all Ryan-and-Marissa on people, but today may be a crossroads game for the entire program.

And so Michigan has to win today. A win against the Work Furlough All-Stars of Columbus would salvage the Michigan season and perhaps stave off what seem like the approaching forces of erosion. A loss? Well, I'm not even tryna hear that.