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Make It Stop

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So I've wanted to write about the Abortion Bowl since last week, but every time I think I've gathered myself and distilled my thoughts into a semi-coherent narrative, I read something else or log onto a message board or find a crazy rumor or see something else college-football related and get thrown back into the pit of emotional torture that is the sometime home of most Michigan fans.

I'm sorry that I'm failing you, the reader. You probably want to bitch along with me or, conversely, find more fodder for your anti-hater delusions contentions that Michigan can still be a great program under Lloyd Carr. Well here's the deal we'll make today: Give me a few more days. By the weekend, when I have some more time to think, and when I won't have to worry about watching every possible second of college football, I will be ready to roll. We can discuss why Michigan's offensive line stinks even though it is the second-heaviest in college football (or, is that the reason?); we can discuss if there will ever have been greater skill-position depth of talent--just natural athleticism--at Michigan than there will be next year with Bass, Breaston, Manningham, Dutch, Henne, Hart, Brown; and, of course, we can discuss the answers to questions like who would win if Dave Campo and Lloyd Carr played chess at halftime of a football game. That's all coming soon.

For the time being, let me ask a simple question: What was the best analogy for the Notre Dame-Ohio State match up? I was trying to think of one all game, but I didn't summon any images that really worked. Was it Kobe vs. Alonzo, the two most detestable basketball players in the NBA? Satan vs. ???? What?