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BlogPoll: Ballot #14 - Final Ballot

And I come back to you now at the turn of the tide.

Or something like that, I guess. I mean, my beard and clothes haven't turned from gray to white, and I don't foresee myself speaking in a loud whisper or a hushed indoor voice most of the time. I guess really, my point is that after a month-long suspension of the BlogPoll during which no games were played and Michigan was thinking of yet another way to blow a fourth-quarter lead, it and I are back, and things done changed.

I will post a bowl-season recap later today. For now, here are the games that I watched, either in part or in whole: Rose Bowl; Sugar Bowl; Fiesta Bowl; Orange Bowl; Alamo Bowl (ugh); Las Vegas Bowl; MPC Computers Bowl; Emerald Bowl; Holiday Bowl; Music City Bowl; Sun Bowl; Peach Bowl; Cotton Bowl; Outback Bowl; Gator Bowl; Citrus Bowl (I keep it real).

1) Texas - I assume you saw what happened.
2) USC - See above. And for the record, I don't think Carroll effed up: You try to break a team like Texas early by going up big and playing into any Longhorn doubt. And late, you go with what got you 34-straight wins--aggressive play calling. If USC had punted, did anyone think that twenty more yards would have stopped Vince Young?
3) Oswald Correctional Facility - Columbus Location - More impressive than PSU.
4) Penn State - Nice season. See you in the middle of the pack next year.
5) West Virginia - Burn, baby, burn! Remember when Jason Gwaltney was a big deal?
6) LSU - Probably the third-most talented team in der country.
7) Virginia Tech - If I were a top-level athlete, I'd want to play football for Frank Beamer. You see, I'm not the violent type, so I wouldn't be getting caught on national television pulling a Christian Laettner. And thus, I could bang under-age chicks; drink and smoke; get arrested--I could do it all and still play.
8) Alabama - What a tremendous defense. And what a tremendous collection of ugly, unwatchable wins. The best team that consistently made me throw up. Michigan was second--not as good, and for different reasons.
9) Georgia - If only the first quarter were pretend, eh?
10) Florida - Here's where this ballot starts to get shaky.
11) Wisconsin - I mean, this really isn't a top-ten team, is it?
12) Auburn - Somnambular.
13) Notre Dame - Was this team's best win against Michigan? Best result a loss to USC? ND wasn't even really in the Fiesta Bowl save for The Joke of a University's eff ups, and you can't expect convicts to get everything right all the time. They only have but so much time in the yard. I think that the Charlie Weis hype compelled me to slightly overrate this team for much of the year. Oops.
14) TCU - Set a new record for Most Consecutive Weeks During Which Poll Voters Who Weren't Watching This Team's Games Had to Make References to the One Thing Everyone Knew About It. Thus: Damn SMU.
15) Oregon - What's that? You should have been in the BCS? Riiiight...
16) Miami - On behalf of Lloyd Carr, I'd like to thank you for losing three games again. It's lonely for fallen elites at the nowhere-close-to-the-top.
17) Boston College - Keep your bowl game shorter next year. I missed the opening of the MasterCard Abortion Bowl.
18) Texas Tech - Just put the baking sheet in the oven. Next season's cupcakes will be ready in eight months.
19) UCLA - Finally ran into a team that plays its style better than it does. And that's why it won.
20) Oklahoma - Well, if this year was as down as it's gonna get under Bob Stoops, then Sooner fans can probably start getting ready for the next Red River Shootout. Vince Young will be gone and Mack Brown won't. And that reminds me, I need to go put on my Sooner-maroon "KeepMackBrown.com" t-shirt (no joke).
21) Tulsa - Here follows...
22) Toledo - ...five compelling...
23) Louisville - ...reasons for next...
24) Florida State - ...year's BlogPoll...
25) Nebraska - ...to be a top twenty.