ESPN is reporting that "Joe Paterno's likeness will appear on boxes of "Super Donuts" and "Super Buns" cinnamon buns made by R Super Foods." Former PSU grad and latest-person-to-exploit-senile-old-people Franco Harris secured Joe's permission to use his likeness by dangling the fresh brain of an 18 year-old national merit scholar in front of the old codger.
It's times like these that I desperately wish I knew how to use Photoshop. Please. Someone help me with this. There's just too much material....
"Squeezing Joe Pa's Super Buns"
"Joe Pa's Super Doughnuts! Just Like The Ones On The Scoreboard!"
"Joe Pa's Super Buns! Firm, But Soft In Your Mouth!"
God. Stop me. Please....