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Friday Happy Hour Braces For The Coming Storm

The Celebration of Our Nation's Independence took many shapes this July. I have to say, Kyle's tradition of posting a bikini clad Jessica Simpson is definitely one of my favorite methods of celebrating the 4th. However, Rakes of Mallow posting the horrendous Bill Pulman speech from Independence Day takes the cake. I laughed myself stupid when I watched that again.

My way of celebrating was to announce a posting schedule that only a coked out 1980's stock broker on amphetamines could handle. Why a 1980's stock broker? Because it allows me to reference Gordon Gecko.

Anyway, as I prepare for the coming storm of previews and postings, I wanted to catch you up on what's going on across the 'sphere.

Here's what's ON TAP:

  1. Michigan Reels In Offensive Talent A Camp
  2. Michigan Previews Are Everywhere These Days
  3. How to be a Notre Dame Fan, Courtesy Straight Bangin'
  4. It's In The Game
  5. All Time Greats To Wear #7
  6. "I'd Like To Set Up In Your Backfield, Baby." ATO Gives You Your Coach's Bar Pick-Up Lines
  7. BSD's Previewing the Big Ten, Ahead of Schedule

Michigan Pulls in Two Big Recruits, Third in the Wings? - Michigan received two big 2008 commitments over the past week from two soon to be crucial players. Both are crucial for different reasons. The first commit was Illinois QB John Weinke, a talented three star QB who committed to Michigan knowing he would back up Ryan Mallett for the next four years. Weinke is a high three star QB with an Elite 11 invite. He'll likely be a more than capable backup, who possesses the ability to not only push Mallett but step in competently in the event Ryan goes down. Given the tight rope Michigan is walking with Henne, his commitment is a fairly big deal for the overall security of the position for the next four years.

The other crucial piece of the puzzle was the commitment of uber-wideout Darryl Stonum. Stonum is ranked as the 6th best player in Texas and the 9th best WR in the 2008 recruiting class. Reason for excitement: he wants Braylon's #1. MGoBlog's got the details. If this kid lives up to the hype, like, whoa, he and Mallett and going to make one another a fortune.

Along the make money-money-money, make money-mon-nay lines, the fastest white boy the Big Ten has ever seen (since Tim Dwight) is close to making a decision. Mgoblog (via scout) is reporting Sam McGuffie is close to making his decision. Really close. Like next week or something. Having gone to high school in Texas and seen 6A football up close, what he's done in his high school career is amazing. YouTubes after the jump to MGoBlog.

Previews, Dammit! Get To The Previews! - It's getting to that point. Previews are everywhere. Sunday Morning Quarterback has Michigan going between 12-0 and 10-2 in his usually thorough prognosticating. According to SMQB, Michigan's a national championship contender. He does however rightly point out Michigan's nauseating tendency to stub its toe at the worst possible time.

[Michigan] ought to be undefeated again going into its defining finale  - only it's two of them serving as culmination now, one on the road against the league co-favorite and the other against a rival that claims some kind of psychological ownership of the series. The Wolverines' history of bombing out of a perfect scenario at some point says either Wisconsin or Ohio State will be a killer defeat, though I wouldn't venture which one.

Food for thought.

Another excellent Michigan Preview is up at JB's excellent Penn State blog There is No Name On My Jersey. JB's dead on with his assessment of how to defend Michigan.

Bring the heat. All day. You're gonna have to leave the corners to fend for themselves... Yes, you might get beat by big play or two, however, you can't give Henne time to throw or he'll pick you apart from the comfort of his big comfy pocket.

As the Rose Bowl showed, heavy enough pressure can and will affect Henne's performance. Granted Henne didn't collapse until his sixth sack, but if you leave him time, you're dead.

JB also makes a valid point about the (remaining) Michigan defense. Michigan is weakweakweakweakweak in the defensive backfield. Much like Notre Dame last year, this is an offense heavy team without a lot of presence on Defense, especially in the secondary. Morgan Trent, while fast, needs a Leon Hall transplant to take over as Michigan's top cover corner. At this point fans and coaches are praying a kid who's never set foot on campus in a Michigan uniform, Donovan Warren, will be Michigan's top corner. He's good, but man, that's a lot of pressure to put on a kid.

The preview's great, but the prediction, well, notsomuch. I don't see Penn State keeping Michigan's offense off the field long enough to claim a victory in Ann Arbor.

In response to JB's preview, my assessment of Penn State will be up Monday.

While you're in a Previewish mood, head over to Stadium and Main and check out Nick's 2007 Season Michigan Wish List.

How to be a Notre Dame Fan - Shamlessly stolen from Straight Bangin'.

NCAA 2008 Prepares To Consume Your Soul - We may not here much from Sean at Michigan Sports Center after '08 hits the shelves. After watching the preview, it's pretty clear why.

Ruining Lives For Over a Decade

M Zone Takes a Look at the Best Lucky #7 - Not an easy task by any means. Benny and Yost narrowed it to Leach, Henne, Henson, and Floyd. They put together a great look at four stars who donned the lucky #7 at Michigan. Well worth your time.

You're The Best Tight End I've Seen In Years - Sean at Around the Oval's got too much time on his hands. But good god, it results in some funny stuff. Sean put together a list of the mac moves of a few of College Football's better known coaches.

On Lloyd:

Lloyd doesn't even go to the bar anymore. He used to go out and do well for himself, but he doesn't seem to have it anymore. When everyone's planning a night out, they expect him to go out and do all right for himself, but he always ends up disappointing everyone. This may be because Lloyd finds himself competing with Tressel at the bar, and generally losing.

On Tressel:

Tressel does not work quickly. He picks out a girl, introduces himself, talks to her, and sees how things are going, but he's patient. If he isn't making much progress, he settles for getting a phone number and trying again later, setting up a date where he could impress the girl more easily. Tressel doesn't dance that well, so he doesn't dance with the girl. He takes her bowling instead, because Tressel's a damn good bowler, and he can show off his athletic skills and incredible sense of humor at the bowling alley. Plus, when's the last time people didn't have fun bowling? Exactly, it doesn't happen. Everyone likes bowling. Anyway, you might wonder if Tressel's ever gonna get anywhere with the girl, you might make jokes about how he has no game, but when it's all said and done, he usually gets the girl.

The rest is also good stuff. I would suggest the following changes.

Tressel: Jimbo rolls up smooth, knowwhadimsayin? When Tressel enters the bars he's dressed in the finest sweatervests made from fine merino wool and the bleeding fingers of 10 year-old orphans in Indonesia. Aside from a inconspicuous gold and diamond studded necklace reading "Natual Born Killaz," he doesn't wear much jewelry. When he sees a lady he wants to get all freaky nasty with, he walks up and introduces himself by throwing down a wad of cash on the bar the size of a softball. In Columbus, this usually works, and Jimbo seals the deal in the men's room. In other locales Tressel dongivafuk. He's not out for play, he's out for trouble. He'll roll up on a hoochie the same way. Any lip, back of the hand. If anyone steps, Jimbo's strappin. How he rolls. Bitches.

Carr: Grumble. How much scotch you got? Grumble.

Big Ten Previews! From Someone Who Knows What They're talking About! - Mike over at Black Shoe Diaries must not sleep much. There's no other way he's been able to put together his excellent previews of Illinois, Indiana, and Iowa. Go there now. Read. Learn.

Enjoy the weekend.

Go Blue!