Somewhere in the heavens, no matter what religion you are, a man sits. He sits in a small shack with a computer screen in front of him and he makes decisions. His computer is attached to a direct line that leads to Earth and determines the fates of college football teams across the country. I'm convinced of this. There are times, years, that this man favors your team. However, with so many teams out there, his attention is often distracted. Other times this man, probably prompted by his ill-tempered cat (this man is most assuredly a cat-man. I'm convinced of this also) he is just downright mean. I don't know what happened this season, but his cat probably got on the keyboard and wrecked all sorts of havoc on Michigan. He probably had his Michigan window open, all ready to bestow all sorts of accolades upon the team, and then the cat went and messed it all up. I imagine that the man didn't notice, because he never really fixed it, instead turning his attention to Ball State.
He's probably enjoying this quite a bit. He's laughing up there, with his cat, because hey, who doesn't enjoy a good meltdown?
Well, I don't. I'm asking, pleading with this man in the sky. I want that jug. I know you decided to wreck Threet for this game. But come on, what a story line, right? Back up quarterback who hasn't shown anything remotely close to competency coming in and winning a meaningless game for an old jug? Give us something. Please man. I'm losing it here. All I want to see is this:
Please? Please, man? I'm really losing it here.