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Congrats to Kansas, I Hate CBS, and Other Thoughts on the National Championship Game

First, my congratulations to Rock Chalk Talk , SB Nation's outstanding Kansas blog, and the Kansas Jayhawks for capturing this year's NCAA national championship in basketball. Keep your eyes on the prize there Kansas. As soon as Michigan starts its own basketball program, we'll be right on your heels. (what's that? We've got one? I thought they were... never mind...).

Congrats Guys

Second, my congratulations to Ohio State, for not losing last night's national championship game. That would've been two years in a row. Whew. That would've been embarrassing.

On a side note, one of the things I've always, always loved about college basketball is that its games are played within a fixed amount of time. (duh. Hold on. I'm getting to the point.) Unlike football or baseball, basketball is a fluid game with a basically running clock and minimal stoppage time.

That is, of course, unless you're watching the game on CBS.

God lord. Last night's national championship game took nearly as long as the football national championship. And that should be impossible! The games are 20 minutes shorter. Literally. And when you talk in terms of actual game time, there should be no comparison. The clock doesn't stop after (just about) every play. There are two 20 minute halves as compared to four 15 minute quarters. Notre Dame isn't playing. The game should've been over in two hours, tops.

Oh, but not on CBS. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, objects speed along the temporal timeline relative to each individual's vantage point on that timeline. So a person on the ground would see an airplane overhead and think it was moving fast while a passenger in the airplane would think the person on the ground was moving slow. So, a Football game broadcast on NBC takes the same amount of time to watch at home as it does in the stadium, it just seems like it takes longer because you're stuck in South Bend, which seems to be stuck in 1982.

Cleetus we're pullin' some tail to-nite!

CBS has actually disproven this bedrock of the physical and temporal universe by producing a basketball game that everyone on the planet, no matter their vantage point, saw as the most painstakingly drawn out production in this history of television. I counted three occasions where there was less than 20 seconds of gameplay between two and a half minutes of ad time. CBS marred what was otherwise one of the most exciting basketball games I've seen in years. Kudos, jackasses.