I did it last year. Why not again....
Twas the day before Football, and all through the land
No man was working, and some were just canned.
The jerseys and t-shirts, team hats covered thinning hair,
All had the knowledge that Football, soon would be there.
The coolers were packed full of bratwurst and beer,
The weather channel reported the skies would be clear.
Now it was fall and the wind had a chill,
For throwing a football and burgers on the grill.
Preseason rankings had all been released,
As usual Duke's chances had been pre-deceased.
DUI's and bar fights got Missouri in trouble,
But with Chase Daniels back there's no bursting their bubble.
While Kansas still revels in its BSC win,
The chances of a repeat look pretty thin.
On flipped the tube and there's Musberger's face!
"What a season we've got! It'll be quite a race!"
Ole' Brent looked quite parched, as he searched for a brew,
After slamming one down, "It's College Football anew!"
USC is unbeatable, that's just what we're thinkin'!
There's football to play and our predictions could be stinkin'"
Neuheisel now points the way for old UCLA,
But the Trojans still laugh at the ad he displayed.
Carr is now gone and Rodriguez took his place,
the shadow of Schembechler he'll still have to face.
Above it all stood Myles Brand's greed,
And lest we forget, all that SEC speed.
USF is hyped and West Virginia's still kickin,
But Rutgers is still there and their chops they're a 'lickin.
The Big XII finally has talent everywhere,
So watch out Oklahoma, Missouri's right there.
Down in Alabama Nick Saban has no time for this shit,
He's still got fifteen players that he has to make quit.
Joe Pa returns and Bowden's under the gun
which will crack first? I can’t wait for the fun.
Ferentz thinks he’s Erickson with an offseason of arrests,
If Iowa struggles early, he’ll keep his job? Surely you jest.
All the off season nonsense finally comes to a close.
No more stories about change and hair in corn rows.
Recruiting goes cold if, for only a while,
Because there's football to play and that business is vile.
The Big East wants respect, the Big Ten validation,
The SEC another crown, and the Pac 10 attention.
The Big XII wants to prove it's more than two teams,
And BYU and Boise have BCS dreams.
But now everyone's tied, nothin and nothin.
Every team's got some hope that this year will be somethin.
South Carolina and NC State line up for the show,
And tonight at Williams-Brice Stadium, the season's a go.
But today test your eyes, there's info you need,
Your hunger for College Football, tonight you will feed.
As I turned off the tube, I saw Brent fade away,
"College Football to all, and to all a good-day!"