Hey, do you remember when going over the Michigan schedule for the upcoming year was a simple matter of trying to decide how many points Michigan should win by? Yeah, I do too. The days were brighter, the grass greener. We could just hang out all summer knowing that Michigan should probably at least win the Big Ten, and often, they did. We would just sit out by the pool, sipping cool refreshing drinks, disparaging Iowa. You know the drill. Then a fucking mountain lion with a terminator head and a jetpack came blazing into our little Wysteria Lane (housewifes, what?) brandishing too many automatic weapons to count screaming 3-9. He tore that shit up. Now we live, barely, huddled around burning compost in a steel drum, trying to figure out what the hell happened, and how we can move back into our nice pad with the pool that the Mountain Lion now lives in. Mocking. Always mocking.
Well, step one in the reacquisition of our standing starts in 2009, and like it or not will be determined by this schedule:
Western Michigan
Notre Dame
Eastern Michigan
Indiana
at Michigan State
at Iowa
Delaware State
Penn State
at Illinois
Purdue
at Wisconsin
Ohio State
Six wins gets us back to a bowl game, which is at least the first step to regaining a modicum of respect. Do you see six wins there? I think I do. Let's do some gut-reaction predictions based on flimsy evidence!
Western? Probably a win, although I thought Toledo was "probably a win" too. However, the odds that we're going up against a Utah-esque BCS buster are slim here, especially given that the Broncos will be starting a new QB just like us.
Notre Dame is, on paper, most likely a loss. As has been detailed on this blog, their offensive line is 100% experienced, and Clausen is actually showing signs of "playing quarterback," a condition that until the Hawaii game last year had eluded him. Symptoms inlcude completing passes to your own team, and not dancing in the pocket. Rivalry game, and all that.
Eastern Michigan is probably a win, but again, "Toledo." It will be nice to get Ron English back in the Big House.
The Indiana game is most likely a win. I mean, they're Indiana, right? And its a Big Ten opener, which is the only streak that Michigan still has going thanks to the wondrous comeback against Wisconsin.
At Michigan State will be the first road test, which under Carr would have been "L" but under Rodriguez...um...actually I have no clue. I do think that MSU will be one of the stronger teams in the B10 this year, and road games and freshman and rivalries aren't usually good. Let's call this a loss.
At Iowa might be interesting, if only because Iowa will be missing Shonn Green something terrible, but then again with no new information, I could say that Michigan will be missing that thing called "offense." I'd say this is winnable.
Deleware State has to be a win, right? Haven't we suffered enough at the hands of the 1-aa? Right?
Penn State will probably beat us.
Illinois is getting a ton of hype, and it's a road game...I'd say loss here.
Purdue we should beat. We should have beat them last year. There is no way they come into the Big House and get a W. Actually, there probably is a way, but my flight's about to board. Call it a win.
At Wisconsin is a loss.
Ohio State. Jesus. We have to beat them again at some point, right? I mean, isn't that how it works? Call it a loss.
That gets us to 6 wins, barely, because Iowa is still a toss-up. That's my gut reaction, take it or leave it. What do you guys think? Am I waaay off here? Like I said, a more detailed preview of each team will be available as the summer rolls on, so I reserve the right to change my mind about any of this.
Motor City Bowl Bound? Discuss.