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Zoltan Don't Play


What did you say? Did you just ask me about the quarterback competition? Son. You don't want to go there. If you do I'll have to introduce you to my twin pythons, Truth & Justice. I have to warn you, Justice don't like you. Truth ain't your friend either. Can't blame them though. After a three year diet of Olympic iron, they're hungry for a soft candy-ass like you. You want to talk punting? Fine. That's how I roll. You know my left leg by it's full name, "The American Way." You have to ask? Because if you front, hescominagetcha. He reigns death from above. He controls the skies and the field of play.

You want to ask me about rumors? They're true. I punt satellites into orbit. And, yes. I am the Strategic Defense Initiative. When you see shooting stars, they're just footballs returning to earth. So come correct. What? you're out of questions? If you need a topic to discuss, I'll give you one. Ever see guns like this on a punter?

You know the answer. Bitch.