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Five Things Maize n Brew Would Change About the Michigan Football Gameday Experience

During Big Ten Media Days Coach Rodriguez mentioned that there were extra things Michigan could do to improve the Michigan Football Gameday experience for Michigan fans.

[I]n the works are things like making "the band and the students and some music" more a part of the gameday experience.  "There’s some venues we’ve been to and some venues I’ve been to in the past that get everybody fired up," Rodriguez said. "They just can’t wait to come. And we have that some. When we’re playing well, and I know in the Big House there’s been some great moments, but there’s more that we can do to make the experience even better for everybody. So that’s what we’re talking about."

Obviously when Rodriguez said "music," we all panicked. MGoBlog in particular was not happy about the prospect of piped in RAWK MUSIK! However, there are other things we can do that don't involve pumping in "Come on Feel the Noize!", despite how awesome it is. Everyone's bound to have their opinions on this, but I put together five thoughts that would not just improve our enjoyment watching the games, but improve the overall atmosphere at Michigan Stadium. Got other ideas? Put 'em in the comments and I'll try to post the most insightful and funniest ones later this week.

Here's my five. Who's in yours?

5. More Stuff With the Cheerleaders - You may be thinking, "Whuuuu?", but hear me out. I'm not talking "Bring it On," or competitive cheerleading stuff, I'm just talking more crowd interaction. Get them into the stands. Have them run around the stadium firing people up. Get them up to the top of the stands, rallying people. Make it a more interactive group. Next, get the older cheerleading alumni to start the M-I-C-H-I-G-A-N MICHIGAN! cheer all over the stadium. Invite them to walk around the stadium during games to start the cheers during the TV timeouts. Our cheerleaders do a great job at the tumbling, the pyramids, and all the other things they've been doing for years. So let's expand their roll. Add on to the " Go!....... Blue!" chant. Further, let's start dispelling the "9 out of 10 girls in Michigan are hot, the tenth goes to Michigan" myth. I know that Michigan's taken some flak the last few years for the Soccer Mom style of outfits, but come on, I think times are a changin....


If you're worried about the female cheerleaders, have you seen the male cheerleaders? Most of these dudes could start at nose tackle in the Sun Belt. I'm not so worried. They're cool kids. They're spirited kids. Let's get them more involved.

4. Install the Cloverfieldtron - This is non-negotiable. Michigan Stadium needs bigger, better, gigantic-er screens. The current "jumbotrons" aren't cutting it. They add nothing to the gameday experience, they're small, they're old, and like Notre Dame's pitiful scoreboards, they're from a bygone era. Hell, PURDUE's jumbotron is bigger than our two screens combined. More importantly, when people the new luxury boxes flanking our current scoreboards they're not going to be happy. "Hey look! Beautiful, soaring brick edifices... and a 1965 scoreboard." We need this. Make it happen.


"What about tradition?" you say. Are you serious? They're big aluminum boxes full of tubes and wires (much like the Interwebz). they've changed dozens of times. So long as Michigan can build a pair of bigger, better screens without advertising on them, there's no reason not to. What's that? We don't have the money? Yeah. I'm not buying that. More details after the jump...
3. Implement Stand, No Stand Sections - This is somewhat of a bow to the blue hairs that contribute the bulk of the Athletic Department's war chest. If you need a visual on this, picture Bill Martin diving like Scrooge McDuck into a pile of coins and dollar bills. Actually, here's the building itself. It's just behind the Union.


Here's the thing. These elderly, no-standing alumni make it possible for us to have all these fun toys. Like Newsterbann. So to some extent, they should get a pass on the standing issue. When you've got an artificial hip, knee, ankle, etc... standing up at a game for 4 hours is probably not the best thing in the world for you. That said, there are plenty of younger alumni and donors who actually like standing at games. You feel more into the game, you can see better. You're not scrunched up next to the 350 pound dude who should have to pay for two seats. NFL teams have alcohol free sections, so why can't we have standing free sections. Make a section here and there sit down only. Because it's the richer, old group we're talking about, give them a couple of premium sections, then charge them a smidgen more to "sit" there. (HIKM!). This way if you wanna sit on your butt and cheer or whether you prefer to stand and do it, no subset of Michigan fans are pitted against one another. Just my modest proposal.

2. Put the Band on the Field - This one may cause some consternation, but I think it needs to happen. There's been a lot of hand wringing over where to put the band so that we get more sound out of them. It's obvious where they are isn't working. the size of the stadium combined with their location makes it difficult for the band to maximize their awesome, eardrum splitting power. My proposal? Put them in the corner of one of the endzones, on the field. Have them wrap around the inside of one of the endzone corners so that the sound projects toward the inside of the stadium rather than straight across the goal line/five yard line. With the new boxes in place the sound would reflect back in and certainly be louder than the current location. Further, the location would allow for better sound clarity for more of the stadium. This wouldn't be a 100% fix, but it'd be better than it is right now.

1. We Need a Live Wolverine - This just has to happen. If LSU can have a live f-ing tiger,Michigan can have a live Wolverine. Bring Back Biff! Bring Back Biff! Put Biff in a sizable cage, roll it out to mid field, and chuck a live deer into his den. How awesome would that be. People let their kids watch the discovery channel don't they? If you let a kid watch a lion take down a wildebeest on TV, then they're not going to be fazed by Biff mauling Bambi.


As an added bonus, we could make sure that Biff's lair is right by the visitor's locker room. So all the stench of whatever he's eating and whatever he's excreting can waft into our "guest's" changing area. Come on. If Iowa can have pink lockers, LSU can have Mike IV's cage by the tunnel, why can't we have Biff snarling at tOSU before they take the field? Think about it. Yost said this about Biff the first go 'round the animal had at Michigan:
"It was obvious that the Michigan mascots had designs on the Michigan men toting them, and those designs were by no means friendly."
If the thing was enough to scare YOST, imagine the home field advantage we'd get from having Biff chillin' in the tunnel? Come on, Bill. Make this happen.