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Black Heart Gold Pants Q&A


I was recently able to contentiously exchange emails with Adam Jacobi of Black Heart Gold Poops PantsI've already answered Adam's questions over at BHGP, and I recommend heading over there, but be careful.  Iowa fans, while dim and slow individually, can be dangerous in large groups.  Bring some tin-foil or other shiny material to distract them.

Below are my questions, Adam's answers. 

1) I like the concept of "how big of a game can Denard have with Iowa still winning?" in a recent BHGP post.  You've got his stat-line as being 210 yards passing, 130 yards rushing, 3 TDs, Iowa wins 38-27.  What do you see as being the crucial element in stopping the Michigan ground game?

Considering how quickly Robinson gets upfield--he's not a Dante Hall dancer--the key's going to be just beating the blocker one-on-one and forcing Robinson to move laterally. Michigan State did a very good job of that, and look what happened. I don't think there's a whole lot that MSU can do on defense that Iowa can't, either, and if Iowa's DL beats their blocks as much as I think they're going to, I don't see Robinson getting a lot of easy 10-yard gains on QB sweeps and draws.

2)  Kirk Ferentz seems interchangeable with, say, an off-white leather couch.  You know - the kind where it's really old, and probably sticky in some areas?  How does this personality fit so well with Iowa as a whole?

I'm sitting on an old, off-white leather couch as we speak. It's not sticky, because I am not a child that drops food or a teenager spilling my wine-coolers and hard lemonade. Why do you not consider me an adult? I hate you, dad!

3)  Where on the spectrum of "rivalry" or "hatred" would you slot Michigan?  Give us a glimpse of the Iowa fan's psyche going into a Michigan game.

There aren't any real single-word responses that perfectly encapsulate the Iowa-Michigan rivalry. Perhaps there's some resentment for the numerous close victories Michigan pulled on Iowa in the last 15 years, most back when Michigan was actually relevant and Iowa was less so. "They're not actually that much better than us" isn't a great rallying cry, but it's something that lodges itself with steel hooks in a football fan's brain. As for today, however, it's pretty obvious even to Michigan homers (and what sensitive types you people are these days) that Iowa has a stronger program these days. So while Iowa and Michigan don't compete for the same sets of eyes or make a big deal of the "rivalry"'s history, as a fan, to see Iowa play Michigan (and be favored in doing so) is something that we relish, as some kind of absolution for sitting through 2005, 2001, 1998, 1997...

4)  I said something nice about Iowa, now you say something about Michigan.  Fair is fair.

I think Denard Robinson is a top-3 Heisman candidate. Also, Michigan the state is in two parts, and in this economy, that's important.

5)  How's the chlamydia treatment going?

Going great. Unlike your mother, I can afford the medication.

6)  Iowa is going to be favored going into this game, and your prediction thread has the average score at 33-18.  How does Iowa lose this game?

To be fair, one of the conditions of that poll was that Iowa wins, so if any Hawkeye fans think Iowa actually loses this game, their voices weren't taken into consideration. And if Iowa loses, it will likely be due to A) Michigan significantly winning the turnover battle and B) Denard Robinson's presence forcing the Iowa defense so far out of their comfort zone that they start breaking down with some regularity. Robinson's good at that, and it might happen once or twice on Saturday, but I think Iowa controls the red zone and lets Marvin McNutt and DJK [ed - Derrell Johnson-Koulianos] victimize the Michigan corners to the point that it'll take two late scores by the Wolverines to get it back to that 38-27 final.

You didn't ask a number seven. This is proof that Iowa will win.