Ann Arbor, MI (AP) - Despite weeks of speculation, University of Michigan Athletic Director David Brandon told reporters today that he has yet to make a decision on Michigan Head Coach Rich Rodriguez or on what he will have for dinner tonight.
"We have a process in place and I intend to follow it," Brandon said this morning. "Dinner plans are made after I've had a chance to sit down, eat my lunch and evaluate its effectiveness on my gastrointestinal track. We received a wonder invitation to have lunch at a Cuban restaurant, and I'm happy to say we've accepted that offer.
Once I've processed that process, we'll sit down as a family and determine our dinner plans. Once that decision is made, I'll inform the affected family members first, and then, I'll let you guys [reporters] know."
Rumors have been swirling around The Gandy Dancer (A posh Ann Arbor restaurant) ever since Brandon reportedly had a subpar meal at the local icon.
"It got off to a great start. It really did. The capresse was excellent, service was good. Unfortunately, the end of the meal wasn't quite as good as the start. But I don't want people rushing to judgment or to expect that I'm simply going to fire from the hip. We're going to evaluate this meal and the direction of the restaurant before coming to any conclusions as to what we're going to do for future dinner plans. There's a process in place, and we're going to follow that process, and process it until its processed to my satisfaction."
This hasn't stopped speculation that Brandon is leaning toward bringing a new restaurant into the fold. Specifically the hot new restaurant Eve, which continues to look better and better to potential diners. The chef's resume is unmatched and the wine list is exquisite, and offers a local's discount! Despite this, Brandon refuses to comment on it.
"We're not discussing that right now. Gandy Dancer is the restaurant we went to."
When asked about Michigan Football Head Coach Rich Rodriguez' job status, Brandon grabbed the questioning reporter and snapped his neck like a piece of balsa wood. When asked why, Brandon responded:
More on Brandon's dinner plans as the story develops.