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2011 BCS National Championship Drinking Game: How To Cope With Auburn v. Oregon One Drink At A Time

Let's face it folks. There are no winners tonight. Only survivors. In honor of our original Tim Tebow National Championship Drinking Game, we figured it was time for a 2010-2011 version. So, behold, The 2011 BCS National Championship Drinking Game!

(Disclaimer: Playing the 2011 BCS National Championship drinking game may will result in death. So don't do it. Ever. Not even in jest. The content above this disclaimer is a joke, not a suggestion. If you're dumb enough to do it, just pray Tebow is nearby. Only he can save you. Him or a local hospital with a stomach pump.)

  • First and foremost, one drink every quarter as a thank you to the College Football Gods that this game IS NOT being broadcast by FOX.
  • Drink every time someone is caught picking their nose on camera.
  • Finish your beer when they're caught eating it.
  • Drink every time the announcers appear shocked that Oregon quarterback Darron Thomas actually possesses an arm, and that he uses it the throw the football.
  • Drink every time Cameron Newton trucks an Oregon defender (sips on this one, people).
  • Drink every time LaMichael James blows through the line of scrimmage in a manner resembling a scramjet.
  • Drink every time dollar bills fall out of Cam Newton's pockets.
  • Drink every time Oregon's day-glo uniforms cause someone around you to have a seizure.
  • Drink every time the announcers say something along the lines of "Auburn hasn't seen a hurry-up offense like this before."
  • Finish your drink if the Oregon Duck's mascot picks a fight with Auburn's mascot Aubie the Tiger.
  • Shots all around the table if the Duck tries to hump the War Eagle.
  • Drink every time the announcers say something along the lines of "Oregon hasn't faced a physical offense like this before."
  • Drink every time Brent Musberger says something on air that clearly indicates he's intoxicated.
  • Drink every time Nick Fairley spears someone (again, sips on this one).
  • Drink every time Erin Andrews appears on screen wasting everyone's time with some fluffy, useless report on someone's family or love of lasertag.
  • Drink every time Kirk Herbstreit looks at the monitor following an Andrews report and obviously appears to be contemplating why he hasn't nailed her yet.
  • Drink every time you see Nike CEO Phil Knight on the sidelines.
  • Drink twice every time you see Nike CEO Phil Knight is wearing sunglasses, indoors, at night.
  • Finish your drink every time you see Nike CEO Phil calling plays for Oregon.
  • Drink everytime the announcers, any of them, remark about how physical and demanding the SEC is without noting that Stanford just hung 40 on Virginia Tech and that 6-6 Washington just beat the Big XII runner up.
  • Drink everytime the announcers mention Tim Tebow.

More after the jump!

  • Drink every time ABC/ESPN show some recycled actor who will be starring in "this season's breakthrough hit" for no reason at all.
  • Drink every time the announcers reference the Heisman trophy, then make Heisman pose.

The only true Heisman pose. via

  • One drink for every point over 30 each team scores.
  • Drink every time an Under Armor commercial is shown and yell "Click Clack!"
  • Drink every time Cecil Newton appears on television.
  • Finish your drink if he is laughing and rubbing himself with hundred dollar bills.
  • Drink every time LeGarrette Blount's knockout punch is mentioned.
  • Drink every time the announcers mention that either team wouldn't be here if not for missed field goals.
  • Finish drink for each missed field goal.

That oughta do it. Remember. Don't do this. It's bad for you.