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Since We're Talking About Mascots: Another Modest Proposal, The World's Most Interesting Man For Michigan Mascot

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He once took Orgo, just for the fun it.


He is the only person on Earth that Mary Sue Coleman refers to as her "Drinking Buddy."

He filed the FIOA requests that brought down Jim Tressel. And did it on a whim.

He can make it from the Diag to the Pumas and back before the clock strikes midnight, and still have time left over for a latte at Espresso Royale and a Hot Dog at Red Hot Lovers.

Denard Robinson comes to him for smile advice and speed training.

He once used his own blood to fuel a '68 Dodge Charger. That car became the inspiration for the "Dukes of Hazzard."

He is listed as the emergency contact on every form Bo Schembechler ever filled out.

He once dotted the "i" by peeing on it, and still received a standing ovation.

Barry Alvarez refers to the time that he punched Alvarez in the mouth as the greatest moment of Alvarez' life.

He has been awarded a national championship ring by every BCS winner, despite never having set foot on their campus.

He is a member of every fraternity on Michigan's campus, despite never rushing a single one.

He is also a member of every sorority on Michigan's campus, just for different reasons.

He slept with Madonna back when she was hot.

The Philly Fanatic and San Diego Chicken credit him for getting into the industry.

The South Quad/West Quad snowball fight was his idea. He also threw its first snowball.

"Victors and the Best" was his suggestion to Louis Elbel.

He is No. 1 on Dave Brandon's speed dial.

He once taught an MSU graduate to read.

He can converse fluently in The Ogeron's native language.

He DID walk from San Diego to Ann Arbor.

He is The Most Interesting Man In The World, and he should be Michigan's Mascot.

As you are aware, noble readers, Dave Brandon recently mentioned in an interview that the University of Michigan's Athletic Department had indeed considered the addition of a mascot to its arsenal of awesomeness. Though Brandon said the mascot idea was basically a dead project, several Michigan fans have reacted poorly to the very thought of a mascot roaming the sidelines. This saddnes us.

We at Maize n Brew are all about bringing people together, finding the proper middle ground, and building a better Michigan. That's why we're suggesting appropriate mascots that everyone can get behind. We've already suggested one we figured all of Michigan could get behind, Jack Donaghy. I still stand by my presentation of a man who once hit a stand up triple of Fidel Castro, but, becaue we are Michigan, we need appropriate options from which to select our mascot. Hence, The Most Interesting Man in the World.

So here are two excellent choices from which to choose. As a matter of course, we will accept further suggestions for an appropiate mascot in the comments below. The suggestions must be urbane, successful, and awesome. They must be lovers, not fighters, but also able to kick ass when the situation calls for it. So let us know your thoughts. And just remember, he doesn't always watch college football, but when he does, he hates Ohio State.