Checking Under the Bed is a final sweep through at the miscellaneous points of interest surrounding teams in the B1G.
As we've previously discussed, Illinois Football is bad, bad, bad. Naturally, most of this piece will be about the hilarious, optimism crushing dust bunnies rolling through Champaign. No better allegory exists than Tim Beckman getting decleated by an official and then flopping on his ass on the sidelines en route to a 14-50 loss to Northwestern.
This is after being thoroughly dismantled by Louisiana Tech 52-24 at home the week before opening the B1G slate. A few boisterous member of Chief Illiniwek's tribe were giving up early into the season (From TWIS):
Louisiana Tech 52, Illinois 24 POSTGAME
mdonsbach: Did we win? Was watching recruiting updates.
ncoillini: One would think that the ILLINI have never played football. Good night, I have to go cleanse myself. I feel very dirty after watching that garbage.
OrangeKrush: TIM BECKMAN YELLS A LOT SO THIS MAKES HIM A GOOD COACH
GeorgiaIllini: they beat us worse than they beat either Houston or Rice.
UIUC1867: Here's what I think of your lasagna . . .
If you don't get the lasagna reference, allow me to enlighten.
I seem to remember something about stones and glass houses juxtaposed with Josh Groban, so I'll cut him some slack. Who doesn't love lasagna? It's pasta cake. Think about it.
As BHJ linked to on Monday, Tim Beckman is a man's man, even on the sideline. He deserves credit for restraining himself. Because we all know Tim Beckman is a double horseshoe dipper.
We here at Maize n Brew also invite you to release your inner whitewalker and thank Illinois for allowing this glorious INTD call. Valar Morghulis, ya'll.
Illinois, you are cleared to check out, please put the towels back.