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YFD Buckles Up

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Yikes.

Andrew Weber-USA TODAY Sports

I talk to my dad about Michigan football two or three times a week. Invariably, the first point he brings up is the line of the game. On Sunday, he'll mention what it is and then remind me about the 2.5-3.5 point bump a home team usually gets. Then during the week he'll tell me about how it's moved and how that's a good or bad sign for Michigan. He isn't a gambler, but he's usually right in reading how the line works.

Michigan opened on Sunday against State at -17, and I talked to my dad three times.

The line didn't change.

This likely means that a 2013-like performance is in store. Against my better judgment, I went to the game last year. Ignoring my dad's reading of the lines, I paid $400 for last-minute plane tix and got a student section ticket for like $80 or something. I had Coney Island for breakfast and a six-pack of bell's for lunch. Walking around EL with many open containers on gameday is super fun. Turns out getting heckled for four hours pregame was way more fun than watching the total drubbing M took that day.

I have almost no faith this year will be different. After a really nice stress-free weekend last weekend, I'm going right back into the breach that is the 2014-15 (hah, like this team will play in 2015) Michigan football team. I will not shell out for the game again. I'm going to watch comfortably with a Michigan beer and some regret whiskey on hand just in case. Regret whisky is whisky you drink when something causes you regret. I should not have to explain this at this point in the season.

There is one hope, and his name is Devin Gardner. There is also one fear, and his name is also Devin Gardner. Dude's been on the run so much it's gotta come together in an afternoon game in East Lansing, right? He's made many bad decisions in the last few years. Too many, to be sure. But there's something about him that's eminently watchable, even when the rest of the team sputters. He's a warrior. And I will watch him until the end of his days. And maybe sob.

So what are you, Michigan fan, going to drink this weekend? In-state rivalry football games don't come around very much. Yearly, in fact. This means this is the one time you absolutely have to buy an in-state beer. Don't worry, there's plenty to choose from. I'm a well-documented lover of Shorts, and everyone loves Bells. What might not be as familiar is EagleMonk in Lansing. The best part? You won't see many MSU undergrads there. The other best part? They're doing some cool shit with their beer. They also do fun stuff like smoking pork shoulders and having live music pretty often. When I was there, they had an experimental pumpkin rye that was pretty good. Most pumpkin beers are too sweet, but this one was solid because it had the right amount of bitter and not an overly heavy amount of pumpkin spice.

So if you're in town for the game, give it a shot - but most importantly, have some regret whisky on hand. Until next weekend, Cheers, Michigan Faithful, and buckle up.