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Your Friday Drinking Instructions Mourn A Tradition Unlike Any Other

Urp. It's IPA season in America, Tiger's not in the Masters, and MnB mancrush Jon Horford bids the Program happy trails.

Friend of the blog Lizzy Yarnold shows why she's a friend of the blog.
Friend of the blog Lizzy Yarnold shows why she's a friend of the blog.
Christof Koepsel

You know how sometimes you blink and things just happen? Kind of a weird last few weeks for sports and life. Consider:

  • NONWOLVERINE SPORTS: Baseball's starting up again, and it's Detroit week over on Grantland starting today. But Tiger's out of the Masters, which is truly an American tragedy. Good night, CBS ratings. The Red Wings clinched their 23rd consecutive playoff appearance despite playing mostly with Gustav Nyqist and the Grand Rapids Griffins' entire team. Those Griffins are pretty good.
  • MADNESS: Both Michigan and the fellas from East Lansing went deep into the NCAA tournament, but were upset in the Elite Eight by teams that ended up playing for the national title. Consider the expectations for both schools entering the season, and then sit back and be proud. Then consider that Adreian Payne and Keith Appling have been to fewer Final Fours than Spike Albrecht all by his lonesome. Commence cackling.
  • O-LINE HELP?: Michigan is after a grad-year transfer C from Alabama, which could immediately fill a void on the O-Line and cost the liquor industry in my town a sizeable amount in lost earnings. DG's a happy man right now.
  • HAPPY TRAILS: Jon Horford, long-admired here at MnB despite an up and down career, is finishing his NCAA days elsewhere for reasons heretofore unknown. Good luck in your future, young man, and thank you - while those who stay will be champions, your contributions to the program both on the court and as a Michigan Man will not be forgotten.
  • IPA IS TERRIBLE, AS IS ZACH: Our writers all agree on things, including the fact that IPA is horse piss. Peter's astute analysis wins him a beer on Zach next time we all get together. As an aside, it's pretty great of Zach to promise beers like that. It'd be terrible if that turned out not to be true.
  • WHAT DID CHUCK BERRY SAY EVERY NIGHT?: In the best article I've read in quite some time, SBN journeys into the shadowlands of the SEC and meets with the guys that really run football programs - the bag men. Of course this is going on. But let's not be foolish enough to assume it isn't happening in Ann Arbor or East Lansing or Columbus or anywhere else in the country. This is a huge industry. Call it what it is. And until Northwestern changes the world and Mark Emmert is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Future, this ain't changing. Let's take care of these kids - it's hypocritical and paternalistic to hide behind amateurism rules when shit like this happens every day. In fact, right now, somewhere on your campus, a recruit is likely getting slipped money. Don't believe me? Ask Ed Martin.
  • PREACH: I can't find the video, but Charles and I finally agree on something besides the deliciousness of donuts and pizza. That's the moral obligation the NCAA should be focusing on.

I seem to have misplaced my snark. Ah, well. I owe you one, editor overlords.

Your Recommended Beer of the Week is a nod to all things spring and summer and a slap in the face to those who thought I'd actually write nice things about Sculpin. It's Oberon season again! Rejoice, and take that first sip while listening to Ernie:

I don't love wheaty beers, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with Oberon or the very underrated Whitsun Ale by Arcadia. Please hurry and get to the East Coast, delivery truck.

Question - Zach, how did you vote in our poll nine times?


Stay tuned, Michigan Faithful - the Return of the Return of the Podcast is coming, now with even more trash talk! Until next time - cheers!