I don’t think I’ve reeled in a winning week since the days of DreamCast.
I haven’t been above .500 since candy bars were 15 cents. Yet, here we are. With a rub of the eyelids, a pack of orange Tic-Tacs, and a 64-ounce iced coffee, it’s back to the drawing board.
"It’s a doggie dog world out there. And I’m a shark, who eats those doggie dogs."
Last Week’s Results
Rutgers Team Total Under-L
Minnesota-Ohio State Over-L
Nebraska Team Total Over-W
Penn State-Northwestern Under-L
Big Ten Record: 48-43
It’s not bad, but there’s room for improvement. Put it this way: it’s similar to eating Chex Mix. It may not be as good as Gardetto’s, but it’s a decent thing to get you by.
By the way, if anyone thinks Chex Mix is better than Gardetto’s, feel free to comment below or slide into my direct messages on Twitter. I’d like to pile-drive some knowledge into where your brain is supposed to be located.
Michigan at Indiana (+12.5, 57.5)
Channeling my biased opinion, let me tell you exactly why I love the Wolverines this weekend. I’ve stumbled on Wolverines games like the Washington Nationals in October, and I don’t take kindly to this.
Michigan’s offense is finally easing the pressure off the defense by notching some pretty nice numbers. Jake Rudock (and Wilton Speight) exploited a respectable Minnesota secondary and completely obliterated Rutgers in the Big House. As if the momentum wasn’t swinging like Joey Bautista on a first-pitch fastball, the Michigan State loss to Nebraska only pushes Michigan to play that much better, knowing there’s a shot at the Big Ten East title.
On the Indiana side, it was perhaps the primary patron for an upset this past weekend. Most perceived the Hoosiers capable of upending Iowa -- and Indiana had the Hawkeyes on their heels for three quarters -- only to watch a lead slip away late.
Now, Indiana has to get up once more and play a team that’s clicking? I’ll lay the double digits here.
Pick: Fighting Khakis -12.5
Ohio State at Illinois (+16.5. 54)
Illinois received a nice jolt on offense with the return of running back Josh Ferguson. The Fighting Illini steamrolled the Purdue Boilermakers just a week after the hammer and rails made a mockery of Nebraska’s defense.
I’m playing with fire (of course) and taking Ohio State, although I already know that it’s a loss. The Buckeyes still have yet to seal the envelope with dominant wins, but they're getting there: victories by 21, 28, 42 and 14.
Whoever scores first covers.
Pick: Ohio State -16.5
Maryland at Michigan State (-17, 58.5)
Michigan State was held in check by Nebraska’s offensive line pretty much all night. The Spartans have revealed to everyone in the country that they’re susceptible to offenses that can stretch the field vertically, and a meeting with the Terrapins is the recipe for getting back on track, defensively.
Big hangover spot for Michigan State, and I expect a minimal amount of fireworks.
Pick: Maryland-Michigan State Under 58.5
Purdue at Northwestern (-14,5, 49)
Both teams have been rather tricky this season, especially towards the total. While offensive ranks may not punch the clock, both have seen a fair share of going ‘over’ the total.
Purdue was lacerated like a dumbfounded character in Halloween while Northwestern managed to slip by the Nittany Hackenbergs even without quarterback Clayton Thorson for three quarters.
It may be a stretch here, but I’ll back the Boilermakers. A low-scoring affair could be of the essence, and it would take Purdue 14-17 points to stay in range. Expect Blough not to blow it (chugs a pint of Clorox and repeatedly smashes light bulbs over my head).
Pick: Purdue +14.5
Nebraska at Rutgers (+9.5, 65)
Like a box of chocolate or how many licks it takes to get to the core of a Tootsie Pop, Nebraska-Rutgers is a sheer question mark.
Does Nebraska use momentum to slay the Scarlet Knights? Does Leonte Carroo play for Rutgers? Will the Cornhuskers suffer defeat once more after an emotional win? Do I look fat in this Detroit Red Wings Winter Classic jersey?
No. Yes. Yes. Absolutely not.
Pick: Under 65
Minnesota at Iowa (-11.5, 46.5)
The Kirk Ferentz Show: Saturdays at noon. Tune in.
Under, by the way.
Pick Under 46.5