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Your Friday Drinking Instructions Keeps His Head Down

Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

Here are brief summaries of some of the things that showed up in my Twitter feed this morning that I'd file under the category of "clickbait and thinkpieces" and some of them are pretty silly.

  • Hall of Fame: Sosa shouldn't be allowed in
  • Hall of Fame: Sosa should be allowed in
  • The Hall of Fame is great
  • The Hall of Fame is dumb
  • Missouri scandal: What we talk about when we talk about race
  • Missouri scandal: Let's not talk about football
  • Missouri scandal: Let's talk about football
  • Anti-DFS: Astroturfed protest
  • Pro-DFS: Stop Regulating Me
  • Neutral-DFS: Commercials are still dumb
  • Your Food Snobbery is Actually Racially Tinged
  • Don't Call My Hot Take a Hot Take
  • Your Hot Take Is Insensitive
  • Is Organic Food Actually Worse For You?
  • Why Craft Beer Isn't Going Away
  • Is Craft Beer Going Extinct?
  • roughly 10 slideshow or list-themed content, listicles (someone will also write "Listicles are bad" and someone will write "Listicles are empowering")
  • Will College Basketball Be Watchable Again?

Sure, a lot of this is an indictment of my Twitter feed and my own preferences. A lot of the people I know are doofuses. I am a doofus. But the world is kind of on fire, if you were to believe Twitter. And there's some really nuts shit going down right now. Missouri's a powder keg and addressing some serious issues that need to be addressed. Baseball is stodgy and dumb and I still love it. DFS is a disastrous cancer but is it actually? Yuppie Issue X Is Endangered But It Actually Isn't.

Most days I just roll over and hit snooze. But today I had stuff to do, so I turned off Twitter and realized that in the vein of most of the thinkpieces above, the only real way to combat the avalanche of clickbaity garbage (and - some really good journalism) is to write a thinkpiece back. But this is Maize n Brew, where we stick to sports.

So I'm going to recommend you drink one total headbanger of a beer this week. No, it's not Skull Splitter, which Kyle wrote up back in the day and I wholeheartedly endorse. This week, you gotta drink something to get that taste of that take out of your mouth. Something cool to counter the heat.

Your Beer of the Week: Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA

This week, drink a beer that's like $9 a bottle, even at a store. Because it's 20% and doesn't taste like it's 20%. Real IPA fans will tell me that 75 for 90 minute are the best of Dogfish's many good beers, and sure, you know your hops. I actually kind of don't. But I know that this beer will absolutely make you stop thinking, and that's why I'm telling you to go get one.

It's sweet for an IPA, and I suspect that sugar is basically alcohol. This thing can be drunk like a spirit. But why? You've got a mind to heal. Enjoy this one and don't leave your house, and by no means go back on Twitter.

Bury your head in the hoppy sand this week, and hope that next week's takes are just a little bit colder. Until then, cheers, Michigan Faithful!