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YOUR FRIDAY DRINKING INSTRUCTIONS BREAKS THE RULES

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Alcohol and caffeine together were once part of the American Dream. Why is it dying?

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I won't rehash how I'm worried about the future of our country here. It's been well documented. But I want to be clear: I'm not blaming anyone. I'm staying out of this. I want you to know that, future Mormon overlords. Look upon me fondly.

But there's one serious problem: there are people out there in the world who want to tell you what you can and cannot drink. The monsters. Remember 4Loko? Sure, it tasted like pure gasoline. But it was America in a can, dammit. And it shall be sorely missed.

There are people in this world who would tell me I cannot drink beer, if they could.*

There are also people in this world who would tell me I cannot drink coffee, if they could.*

Am I not allowed to alter my state of mind via a canned beverage? This is an abomination. It's a disgrace. Anyone who's seen me before coffee knows how vitally important it is to the survival of our planet. And you, dear readers, might be the only ones who can fight back. And there's a way.

WIthout further ado, here's what you need to put into your fallout shelter.

Your Beers of the Week:

I like coffee and I like beer. There are plenty examples of the beautiful hybridization of the two out there (no, Coke Blak, go home) but there are also some pretty lousy coffee stouts and porters out there. Fortunately, a couple amazing breweries do it right.

Sixpoint Brewery out of Brooklyn makes solid beer. Their best beer is probably their Bengali Tiger IPA, a beer that made even me like hops. It's that good. And it's in cans. But your Beer of the Week is 4Beans, an imperial coffee stout clocking in at 10%. They used to do a 3Beans version that didn't have vanilla, which was also good if you can find it (it's old, though) but recently Sixpoint added vanilla beans to the mix and holy cow is this thing smooth.

Maize n Brew loves Surly Brewing entirely too much, but so it goes. Our love for Bender has been widely disseminated in this space - so I won't bore you too much. But if you like Belgians, browns, and coffee, put all three together in a can and you've got your Surly Coffee Bender. It's tough to find outside the midwest, and it's pretty heavy on the coffee, so you can actually feel your lips tingle a little bit from the buzz. Go find some now that it's not deathly warm outside.

Until next weekend, Cheers, Michigan Faithful!

*: