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Annual PSA: DON'T TWEET AT RECRUITS

honestly probably just don't use twitter

By Shash
This is probably a good guy and a handsome gentleman but this is how you look to children when you tweet at them. DON'T DO IT.
This is probably a good guy and a handsome gentleman but this is how you look to children when you tweet at them. DON'T DO IT.
Bryan Bedder/Getty Images

This post is somewhat self-servicing because if you're reading this you probably don't tweet at recruits. I am quickly becoming the Old Man at MnB and it's terrifying given my actual age.

Everywhere you go, there are doofuses. Occasionally, you're the doofus. I often am. Someone recently pointed out why Ken Griffey wasn't unanimously elected is because it's a sociologicial phenomenon - if you put 100 people in the room, a couple are going to think chemtrails are real, 9/11 was faked, and the moon landing was produced by Disney.

Twitter compounds all these problems. I love it. I use it for news and attempt humor on it regularly. It's great for recruiting updates. But hey, there are a ton of doofusi out there and a low barrier to entry. Add in anonymity (though this doofus proves you don't need to be anonymous) and you've got a recipe for disaster.

This is today's ground zero:

I'm buring the lede. Yes, I am trying to be somewhat snarky below. But this is neither funny nor self-serving. Michigan's fanbase does it. Every fanbase does it. It is not and will not ever be a good idea. Don't blame the kids for having Twitter. You probably have one too. It's their right and yours as well. Don't blame the recruiting services and the media. They are getting paid to do this mostly because you are paying them to do this because you are insatiable. It isn't their fault. Enjoy it responsibly. Don't fucking tweet at recruits. Here's a different way to put it in a different font:

DON'T TWEET AT RECRUITS, PEOPLE.

does this convey the message bluntly enough? this happens EVERY SINGLE YEAR and I rant about it every single year and I'm not alone. So, here's my version of the oft-made flowchart.

RULES: If ANY of the answers to the below questions is "NO" then DON'T TWEET AT RECRUITS.

The Official MnB "Should I tweet at recruits" questionnaire:

  1. Am I a coach or assistant coach employed by a collegiate institution contacting a prospective recruit during NCAA-approved times and in an NCAA-approved manner and do I not care about it being slightly shady/public?
  2. Am I a fellow recruit? (Note, this means you're probably an elite high school athlete - while it's probably OK for you to tweet at other recruits, know that crazy people are going to inject yourselves into the conversation - so maybe don't do this)
  3. Am I employed by a recruiting service or media organization attempting to seek an interview? (I understand it's your job and this is how the children communicate right now, but like, be considerate here - just remember, these kids are taking flak from everywhere)
  4. Do I think it's OK to tweet at CHILDREN as a creepy old person encouraging them to go to an institution I probably didn't attend?
  5. Do I think it's OK to tweet at CHILDREN as a creepy old person encouraging them to go to an institution I attended, somehow graduated from, and skipped the part in my cognitive development that is essential at a university where I was supposed to learn BEING A STRANGER TWEETING AT CHILDREN IS NEVER A GOOD IDEA? (Reminder: society now considers you an adult, however foolishly that title may be bestowed)
  6. Am I a complete and total nutjob?
  7. I'll ask #6 again. Am I a complete and total nutjob?

HERE IS GRAY'S FLOWCHART FROM LAST YEAR IN CASE IT ISN'T QUITE CLEAR ENOUGH

please, for the love of everything, do not tweet at recruits or reply to tweets with media members and recruits. you look stupid and you make the rest of us look stupid. be an adult. let these kids make the biggest decision of their lives.

Still not clear enough? OK. I give up. Here's a link you can use to tweet at recruits.