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MnB Roundtable Is Comfortable In Pink

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Kinnick After Dark

Maryland v Michigan Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

Michigan ain't played nobody?

Ain't played 'Bama

Have played somebody

Who else has defeated three top fifteen teams?

I thought "nobody" was the current SEC West leader!

Alejandro: Gotta a beat a good team on the road before you can say they have a great résumé.

Peter: I'm just going to say that I think Wisconsin is a somebody, regardless of their lackluster offense. Bucky could beat just about anybody out there right now.

Garrett: Since this statement is absurd, and I'm not motivated to rehash the same tired counter-arguments, let's look at this from a purely technical, grammatical perspective. Right of the bat, Michigan is 9-0, so they've presumably played nine games, winning all of them. "Nobody" implies zero opponents, but we can infer from the aforementioned nine game/nine win conclusion that Michigan has played greater than zero opponents, rendering "nobody" moot, or a meaningless euphemism. Furthermore, the use of the colloquial "ain't" implies a southern accent/argument/origin, which is nothing more than another piece of evidence of the rest of the country's heavy SEC bias which places the entire argument in an irrational, hyperbolic vacuum, regardless of what follows. Twitter/email is in my bio, Paul Finebaum/Tom Dienhart.

Trevor: I guess since nobody knew that PSU and Colorado were decent when UM played them that means those wins aren't impressive?

Kyle: From a CFP standpoint, sure, there is an argument. I believe that argument is wrong given the current rankings of Wisconsin, Penn State, and Colorado, but Michigan has had its fair share of cupcakes. But from an eye test standpoint, does it really matter? Has Michigan's quality of competition stopped anyone from seeing who they are?

Anthony: Michigan's resume speaks for itself. They've boatraced every team on their schedule except for Wisconsin, which is...HEY...another great team.

Kevin: We touched on this argument last week, and again right now. Michigan's schedule holds up to scrutiny. And not just from Colorado, either. Penn State has awakened, and Wisconsin has held onto their top-ten ranking. Combine that with how Michigan has completely pantsed every opponent they've faced, and you have a legit challenger to Alabama.

Zach: I’ll wait for Tom Deinhart’s response.

Michigan hasn't won at Iowa since 2005. Granted, only a few attempts since then, but, does Iowa have the magic in them?

AZ: Weird things happen at Kinnick Stadium, man.

PP: Seems that way, doesn't it? Iowa is kind of like what Northwestern is for Wisconsin. It isn't just that Michigan hasn't won in Iowa City since '05, but the Wolverines are 5-6 against the Hawkeyes since 2001. I've been saying to some people that I'm actually nervous that Iowa will be the trap game, so I'll be pooping myself for 60 minutes on Saturday.

GH: They won in 2009, when Michigan went 5-7, in RichRod's second year. Iowa ended the season #7 in the country after crushing Michigan by two full points. They won in 2011, arguably their only upset, over Brady Hoke's overachieving first-year team. They won in 2013, again over Brady Hoke, when Michigan was unranked and reeling, by a full three points. That's really not an upset inspiring resume.

TT: Yes, they have magic in them. They will have to save it for another time though. The Hawkeyes will not be pulling any bunnies out of any hats in Iowa City against the Wolverines.

KY: If Michigan stumbles (or falls) it will because of their own shortcomings, not the magic of the Hawkeyes. This Iowa team is far from those who have troubled Michigan in the past, and they are playing nothing like last year's record or August's rankings indicated they would. Michigan just needs to play their game.

AB: Michigan will have to play uncharacteristically bad and I do not see it this week. They are locked in.

KB: Kirk Ferentz knows how to beat Michigan. Kirk Ferentz also knows how to lose to Michigan. Which Kirk Ferentz shows up, I have no idea. Kinnick Stadium at night is a frightening place, but Michigan has Jim Harbaugh.

ZT: Not this year. This Michigan team is too good.

Wilton Speight said he nearly left Michigan, but then goes and has a monster game against Maryland. Surprised he's become so good? Expected all along?

AZ: Jim Harbaugh is a quarterback whisperer, and Wilton Speight is the latest example of that. I'm convinced he could turn any one of us into a functional college quarterback.

PP: I'm surprised, but I think that's mostly a product of not being able to remember the last time Michigan had a truly great QB. I'm also old, so the memory fades from time to time. Now, where did I leave my keys?

GH: I think the full length of his growth is surprising. I fully trust Harbaugh to develop a player into a competent quarterback over the course of a season, but Speight, at this point, is beginning to build the foundation to become a great college quarterback. His improvements in accuracy, range, poise, and timing are revealing that his ceiling is higher than many people suspected.

TT: Pleasantly surprised. Crazy how things worked out for him. Followed his gut and stayed in Ann Arbor with the quarterback whisperer. Speight is back next year as well, so thats exciting. We will get to see what Harbaugh can do while having an extended period of time with the same starting QB.

KY: : I am surprised. Like many people, I wanted John O'Korn, but it turns out Harbaugh knows better than I do. I did write a piece earlier this year about how his accuracy issues were overhyped, and he has continued to prove those doubters wrong. I still think he's got some areas to improve, but he has turned me into a believer.

AB: No quarterback breaking out will ever be a surprise under Jim Harbaugh, but he has been very impressive.

ZT: Once he won the job my expectations raised quite a bit, but even still he seems to be touching that ceiling. Harbaugh is the best QB coach in college football, and I'm excited to see how Wilton can further develop under his tutelage.

Apparently Jim Harbaugh is headed to several NFL teams at the same time, so let's crank up the baseless speculation machine!

AZ: Per some sources, he's leaving Michigan to own, coach, and quarterback the Las Vegas expansion team. Sorry, folks.

PP: As I mentioned to you guys on Slack on Sunday, one of the ESPN radio hosts out of Milwaukee said that the Packers need to sack McCarthy and Thompson, and that getting Harbaugh would be easy because, "He'd take the money in a heartbeat." Yeah, no.

GH: Word here is that the Green Bay Packers have offered him a five year, $50-million guaranteed contract with whole milk bonuses if he wins the division/conference/Super Bowl/etc.

TT: Jim Harbaugh to the Jags! The Lions! The Bears! No. No. No. Jimmy Hardball is going to be in Ann Arbor for a long time, at least until he brings home a few Big Ten titles and hopefully a few national titles.

KY: Well clearly Harbaugh only came to Michigan for the money, so let's just put a bigger paycheck in front of him. Wait, actually didn't he come here because he couldn't win it all in the NFL? He'll never go back, it's too hard for him.

AB: Can he co-coach the Lions?

KB: I have an Illuminati-level conspiracy theory. In the not-too-distant future, Jim Harbaugh will leave Michigan to coach the Cleveland Browns because all he cares about is money. In order to prove he is the GOAT, he wins Cleveland's first Super Bowl title by defeating the unbeaten New England Patriots, led by a retiring Tom Brady.

At midfield, Harbaugh embraces Brady, and whispers into his ear, "It's time."

Harbaugh, freshly fired from Cleveland by new owner Jed York, is then hired by Ohio State to take over for Urban Meyer, who has decided to once again spend time with his family. Meanwhile, interim coach/good dude Don Brown brings Brady onto his staff as an assistant. A push is made for the top-ranked QB recruit in the country, but because it's Tom Brady, the kid chooses Michigan.

OSU travels to Ann Arbor for The Game, both teams undefeated. During pregame warm-ups, Harbaugh looks to the press box, and sees Brady, who flashes the signal. A t-shirt cannon is loaded with a hat, pair of glasses, and sharpie pen. It is fired down toward the field and lands at Jim's feet. Harbaugh pulls out a blue block M hat, puts on his glasses, and tucks the sharpie into his shirt. He says nothing, and walks over to the Michigan's sideline, past the stunned faces of the Buckeye players.

A kneeling Don Brown awaits, handing Harbaugh his headset.

The plan is complete.

ZT: Oakland is still in play.

Probably good timing that there's college football this weekend, so what else are you watching while we wait for Michigan to play?

AZ: Rutgers vs Michigan State. Is there really any other answer?

PP: I want to see all the suck between Rutgers and Michigan State. Aside from that, I want to see what happens with the teams in the West. Minnesota plays Nebraska, and Wisconsin takes on Illinois. If the Gophers and Badgers win, they'll be tied for first place, setting up a potentially huge showdown in Madison on 11/26, with a berth in the Big Ten Championship at stake.

GH: Saturday's daytime slate is underwhelming, to say the least, so I've lined up choice post-apocalyptic films. Your V for Vendettas, your Mad Maxes, your 2012s, your Bladerunners, etc. It's market research or something I guess.

TT: Auburn vs. Georgia will be a good watch. I will watch Maryland play Ohio for 5 minutes until that is a blow out and I lose all hope that Maryland has a chance. Could Pitt play up to Clemson's level and give them a game, maybe. I always like to root for Pitt and their RB James Connor.

KY: Basically any game with a top-15 team. The beauty of college football is there's always at least one interesting, competitive game going on so finding something fun to watch shouldn't be too hard.

AB: Give me all the football. Covering the games, I usually miss most non-Michigan contests, so looking forward to whipping around the slate this weekend.

KB: Not a banner schedule week, but I'll peek in on two. Auburn-Georgia because I want to know if there's a real threat to Alabama within the SEC, and LSU-Arkansas because it'll be the first chance Bret Bielema has to stand atop the mountain of Clock Mismanaging Guys without Les Miles! I just chose two SEC games and don't feel good about it, either.

AZ: Hi it's Alejandro again I forgot to mention USA vs Mexico AKA "Dos a Cero"

ZT: Honestly, I'm thinking I should do something productive with my Saturday like go outside or be around other people in a social setting instead of crawling into a hole with college football for 12 hours. I probably won't tho.

And what're you drinking?

AZ: Anything I can get my hands on.

PP: Bourbon. Lots and lots of bourbon; everything I have in the house: Four Roses, 1792 (not my fave), Knob Creek, and Elijah Craig. But I feel that it may be necessary to stock up on some additional varieties as well. I'm open to suggestions.

GH: I was in Iowa City a few weeks ago, and didn't find anything local that caught my attention. I did, however, purchase an ale brewed in Machester (England) that is aged in Lagavulin Whisky barrels. It's 11.5% and should smooth things over for a couple of hours.

TT: Busch Heavy baby.

AB: Birthday weekend. Who's buying?

KB: I had a chocolate peanut butter stout recently, and I must find it again because it was like drinking a Reese's made of alcohol.

ZT: After this week, something strong.

And a hearty birthday wish goes out to our own Anthony Broome! We live to serve you.