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JIM HARBAUGH HAS ANGER IN HIS EYES

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The college football off season is a strange thing. According to one expert, Jim Harbaugh is one bad call away from losing his mind.

High School Football: National Signing Day-University of Michigan Kimberly P. Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

According to this man, Michigan will soon regret hiring Jim Harbaugh to run the football program.

Dr. Brown, a body language expert and consultant, would like the college football world to know: Don't trust Jim Harbaugh. He is a powder keg trapped inside a man, waiting to explode at a moment's notice. Such rage and behavioral problems will destroy us all and irrevocably ruin the football program.

To quote Dr. Brown:

And it's no secret that some of Harbaugh's previous players have complained about his temper - while other's have come to his defense. From a strictly nonverbal perspective, Harbaugh displays several warning signals of poor impulse control - one of which is discussed here [his wide-open eyes].

Isn't "poor impulse control" in the job description of a Division-I college football coach? Right up there with "using emotion in the interest of motivating student athletes to be better human beings" I'm guessing.

Brown continues:

It could be tomorrow, it may be next month or five years from now. Most likely this will occur in preparation for a big game or in the midst of Michigan having a particularly bad losing season.

Jim Harbaugh last had a losing season in 2007, his first year at Stanford.

If his body language is being correctly interpreted, Harbaugh will go nuclear the first time his Michigan team has some struggles. Struggles like losing to both of his school's rivals last year. How he hasn't demolished the football training facilities in a fit of rage has greatly surprised Dr. Brown.

If he had watched that whole press conference he may not have felt such terror:

It's all in the eyes, though. From now on, carefully watch Harbaugh's and other power school coaches' eyes for cues as to when they will melt down and start throwing bottles of water at peoples' heads and kicking children in the knees.

Like this guy:

HOW COULD WE MISS THE SIGNS OF THE COMING APOCALYPSE. LOOK AT HIS EYES.

Oh no. Perhaps we should be alarmed about Jim Harbaugh. Maybe that's what Paul Finebaum was trying to warn us about all along instead of just blatant dislike of a person who is rattling the cages of the Southeastern Conference.