Tuesday Morning Brews: Imperial march

A long time ago—like Monday—in a galaxy far, far away—let’s say East Lansing, I don’t know. There’s nothing coincidental about that—It is a period of civil war. The Wolverines, striking from their base in Ann Arbor, won their second victory in three years against the Spartan Empire. Darth #Disrepekt, in an unbridled rage, has ordered the unveiling of their super-weapon: boundless pettiness * cue music *.

Will the Wolverines survive? Yeah, probably. But who knew that the next chapter in the Michigan-Michigan State rivalry was going to involve a Star Wars reference, right? Anyway, there are press availabilities for both teams later this week, so I’m sure we won’t have to wait too long for the next chapter in, “who’s fault is it that some college-aged kids got in a little scuffle?”. In the meantime...

Let’s get to it:

Field hockey tops Ohio State, wins share of Big Ten. Field hockey concluded their regular season on Sunday with No. 21 Ohio State, and the Wolverines won in double OT. Michigan equalized in the 63rd minute and netted the game winner in the 88th minute. The victory secured a share of the regular season Big Ten title, their second in as many years. The Wolverines share the championship with Maryland, who, by virtue of their win over Michigan back in September, will be the No. 1 seed in the Big Ten Tournament. That tournament begins next Sunday.

Volleyball sweeps Northwestern. The Wolverines ended their weekend on the hardwood on a high note with a sweep over Northwestern. Unfortunately, Michigan lost their first match of the weekend. The Wolverines’ matchup with No. 7 Illinois went all five sets, but the Fighting Illini won the tie-breaker set 13-15. Michigan is now 18-3 (7-3) on the season. They’ll be back in action next Friday against Wisconsin.

Women’s soccer blanks the Spartans. Football wasn’t the only Michigan program with a resounding win over Michigan State this past weekend. Women’s soccer concluded their regular season with a 2-0 victory over the Spartans. The win means the team heads into the Big Ten Tournament with a winning record (9-8-1, 5-5-1). The conference tournament begins next Sunday.

Michigan hockey split their return to the ice this past weekend against No. 19 Western Michigan. The Wolverines started things off right on Friday with a 6-5 win, including a frantic third period that saw five goals scored between the two teams. On Sunday, it was Michigan’s turn to be on the wrong end of a one-goal loss. Western Michigan came back from a 4-3 deficit with two goals in the third to beat the Wolverines. Mel Person’s club is off to a less-than-ideal, but it’s still early, 1-2 start to the season. The team will be back in action against St. Lawrence this coming weekend.

Far be it from me to revel in another team’s misfortune, but I’m going to revel in another team’s misfortune. If you want to watch Ohio State fans experience a meltdown, check out the article linked in the tweet above. Be forewarned, there is some NSFW language.