Horrible, awful, damning details emerge on Harbaugh’s Level I NCAA violation: He took recruits out for a burger

The details of Michigan Wolverines head coach Jim Harbaugh’s Level I NCAA violation have come out, and boy they are terrible. Terrible, I say! Outright egregious and downright sickening. I simply cannot believe what I am about to write, as the allegations in the report are awful and they WILL shock you...

Ready? Okay...here goes nothing...

He took some recruits out for a burger (per On3’s Chris Balas) at the Brown Jug...ON HIS OWN DIME!

*gasp*

Why on god’s green earth would Harbaugh do such a thing? Doesn’t he know better? Young men who are still growing and have aspirations of being a professional football player should be eating lean meat instead. How Harbaugh could force those kids to eat red meat is simply ridiculous. All that does is increase their cholesterol levels, make them bloated and unprepared for competition. No wonder they lost in the Fiesta Bowl.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he bought them some French fries and a milkshake, too.

This is truly unbelievable stuff, guys.

Clearly the NCAA is doing Michigan a favor here. If Harbaugh ends up being suspended, the team will be well-nourished and treated to the best grilled chicken breasts, salads and other healthy foods they have ever had in their lives. The Wolverines will be better during the games he misses. Much like you reading this, I really hope the NCAA continues to do the right thing and hands down the highest form of punishment.

Hell, call the cops. Get them involved. I’m PISSED.

Again, this is truly unbelievable stuff.

Finally, I want to send a SINCERE thank you to the NCAA. I think I can speak for all Michigan fans and say we are eternally grateful for them focusing their tireless hard work and determination in bringing this HORRIBLE crime — that’s right, CRIME — to light. Forget about investigating how USC was able to land star receiver Jordan Addison last offseason, or how Texas was able to quickly sway Xavier Worthy to their program. Or how UNC quarterback Drake Maye was allegedly offered $5 million to transfer to another school. All those things are NOTHING compared to buying high schoolers a hamburger.

Disgusting. Truly unbelievable.

Please, Michigan fans. I strongly encourage you all to email NCAA President Mark Emmert at memmert@ncaa.org to congratulate him on one final incredible investigation before he retires and rides off into the sunset.

So if Harbaugh is suspended for this despicable incident, hopefully he can learn and reflect on where he went wrong and instead of taking out kids for burgers next time...go get them some Chick-fil-A.