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Who are the WWE comparisons for five current Michigan Wolverines?

It is time to look at some Wolverine WrestleMania headliners and determine who was right in Michigan’s version of the “Montreal Screw Job.”

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: NOV 12 Nebraska at Michigan Photo by Scott W. Grau/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Professional wrestling and Michigan fandom have been synonymous in my life for over 20 years.

As a fan of both, I often do crossover comparisons for fun in my head (I swear I have a fiancé) or even refer to players as heels or baby faces.

“Who is the Shawn Michaels of Michigan football?”

“Who is the Blake Corum of the WWE?”

So, I decided to put pen-to-paper, or fingers-to-keyboard, and hash out five of my favorite comparisons here today. Apologies to my AEW stans, these comps will only feature WWE talent. Although, Roman Wilson is 100% Ricky Starks.

Here are five of my favorite wrestling comparisons for the current Michigan Wolverines.

Blake Corum - Rey Mysterio

When you first see either, the initial thing that jumps out is their size. But after a match or a game, their performance is all that you remember.

Fearless, exciting, and often the smallest guy involved, Rey Mysterio and Blake Corum are built like Mini Coopers with monster truck engines. Neither man lets their diminutive stature interfere with their productivity and both always secure the top highlight no matter the opponent.

I don’t know what Corum’s home are code is, but I doubt it will have the same ring as 6-1-9.

J.J. McCarthy - Shawn Michaels

Last season, J.J. McCarthy was ready to be the man. He had paid his dues (lost his smile), proven his merits, and the future of the program was quickly becoming the present. However, the current starting quarterback Cade McNamara wasn’t ready to relent his job to this rising talent.

Similar to Shawn Michaels’s rise while Bret Hart was on top, McNamara thought he had proven himself time in and time out and deserved the commitment from the program that he would be the 2022 starter.

Unfortunately, there was no Survivor Series match in Montreal to settle the score, but after the Hawaii game, Harbaugh made clear who the team’s starter would be.

“J.J. had a near-flawless performance. 11-for-12 and then one was dropped. That’s tough to do any day of the week in practice,” Harbaugh said. “I thought he had a great game. He’s playing really well, we’ll start J.J. next week.”

Like Hart, Cade felt screwed over, packed his bags and headed elsewhere to be the man. Will Iowa be McNamara’s WCW? Will McCarthy go on to be the greatest Michigan quarterback of all time?

If only we could increase the tension this season with Michigan’s former signal-caller and have head coach Jim Harbaugh do an interview where he says, “Cade screwed Cade.”

Rod Moore - Shelton Benjamin

Shelton Benjamin has always been one of my favorite wrestlers. Sure, Benjamin was never the best on the mic or the flashiest character, but he was a master of his craft and an in-ring technician with an incredibly high work rate.

Similar to Benjamin, it is hard to find a harder worker who garners less praise from the masses than Rod Moore. Maybe they both suffer from the “bad name theory?” If Rod Moore was named Xavier Austin would he get better PR? If Benjamin’s name was associated with a nickname like “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, would he have been pushed to the top?

Either way, don’t let the names or the lack of flash detract from the athlete. Moore is the best Michigan safety in 20 years and a true master of his craft.

Zak Zinter and Trevor Keegan - Kane & Undertaker

The Brothers of Destruction were one of the most feared tag teams in all of wrestling following their debut in 1998. Much like Kane and the Undertaker, after Zak Zinter and Trevor Keegan united on the line of scrimmage in 2021, their reputation preceded them as a dominant force as they quickly rose to the top of their positions in the sport.

Keegan and Zinter are not far off in terms of size either with both listed at 6-foot-6 and a combined weight of 619 pounds. Comparatively to the BOD, who wrestled at a “billed” height average of 6-foot-11 and a combined weight of 632 pounds, Zak and Trevor are almost always the biggest guys on the inside of the line.

Kane and the Undertaker weren’t actually brothers and neither are Zinter and Keegan. The latter have swapped chokeslams and tombstones for pancake blocks, but opposing defensive linemen still look like they have seen a dead man when faced across from these two.

Sherrone Moore - Teddy Long

The famous personality, referee, manager, and former Smackdown general manager, Teddy Long is an iconic figure in professional wrestling history. From handing out “Hater-ade,” or interrupting matches or promos, with “Hold on a minute playa,” Long was simply the best and oversaw one of the greatest periods in Smackdown history.

Similarly, offensive coordinator Sherrone Moore is revered internally and externally. Moore additionally oversees the offensive line in the midst of one of the golden eras of Michigan football. Much like Long, Moore paid his dues to earn this position and is now making the most of his position of power.

Can you imagine Sherrone stopping a drill and threatening conditioning like Long used to do with Undertaker matches? If only football were actually professional wrestling.